You found love. You're getting married. The biggest day of your life. The highlight reel of all your memories. Giving you chills and just crying, but it's good crying. Crying of joy and happiness......
If it all doesn't go well though, it could be cries of horror and sorrow. Referring to divorce and other influences that may ruin a relationship. But eh who knows the future?
ETERNITY. You're going to spend ETERNITY with this person. Well in better words, your whole life with them, until you die haha.
I just can't help it. Every time I see a friend or acquaintance with a engagement, pregnant, or married announcement on social media, I will judge. I will immediately go creep on their pictures and make assumptions haha. "Dang never thought she'd end up with him." "Naaaaaaahhhhh man you coulda done much better." "WHAT!? They've only dated for 2 months!" "Dude, dude, dude, check this out, remember that one girl? She's only 19 and she's getting married cause she's pregnant!"
Geez when I get married I will not announce it on social media, that's for sure. Just tell important people. This one girl announced engagement on Facebook and some fool commented "327 likes?! This guy must be a keeper!" I wanted to go through the computer screen and slap him a couple times. Love and marriage shouldn't be a popularity contest.
Sometimes I feel the choice of people getting married isn't 100% purely based on just loving them. All your friends may be married and you feel left out, you think you know what you want, but you really don't, some people just like attention and want to SHOW everyone that they're "in love." It's false love in my opinion if you have to prove your love with someone to other people on social media, etc. Sounds ridiculous but I'm serious.
There's a reason. A reason for the timing in proposal and marriage. It just seems right. Everything seems to come into place and just fit.
Isn't love and marriage the point of life? What else could you possibly want? Love. To be with someone attractive that you love. There is NO better feeling. I mean I guess as long as you're happy. But doesn't happiness require love? I look at marriage as the definite high point of life. YOU DID IT! You have your loved one and now you go on to complete the second half of your life. There's a first half, which is you experiencing different people and figuring things out and then there's a second half which is you finding the loved one and sharing your lives together.
The first half is hard, you don't really know if this person is for you. You get to know them and share experiences with them. It's a bumpy ride though. Break-ups, being cheated on, trust problems. People start to have second thoughts and doubts. But my lord the second half I'm assuming is worse. A bumpier ride. STILL the possible consequences of being cheated on, financial problems, children, housing, finding time, and REALLY. AND I MEAN REALLY. Truly finding out who they are. But hey, in the end it's all worth it, if it works out of course.
I've always dreamed of getting married young. Ever since I was 12 years old I kept telling myself 24 will be the age. The age I stand up in front of the altar with my wife. She's absolutely gorgeous in her white dress, her beaming eyes, and beautiful smile. "You may kiss the bride." Goosebumps all over me and just a powerful feeling through my body. I've always wanted kids too. Four. Four is a lot. But my dad had four and I just want to prove that I can be a better father than he ever was. The best father ever. I want to be young enough to play basketball with my children, eat ice cream with them, go to movies, tell them my experiences, read them my blog, and have them grow up to be wonderful people. To have them learn from my mistakes.
But something is telling me it won't happen, because in a few years I WILL BE 24 years old.
"These people are fools for getting married young. They don't really know what they want in life." One of my co-workers told me.
Maybe they've got it ALLLLL figured out. A plan. They just fell in love and this is it, it's all you've wanted. It's all we want. What's life anyways? You're born. You be happy. You grow up. You find love. You combine love and then you create love by passing it on and then you die. Correct? It's not exactly about the money? Is it? Life isn't about money right?
"Yo it ain't that easy bruh, these younglings think they got it all figured out. Just because their FAMILY got the money to help them out with this marriage stuff, don't mean they got it figured out. Getting married too quick or too young increases the chance of divorce. DIVORCE. You forgot about that right? Do you TRULY love this person? Or are factors such as environment, peers, people, family, or experiences just influencing your decision to marry this person. Maybe you're choosing this person simply because you're tired of being alone. You're tired of waiting and watching others get married. Listen I know there are tons of young married couples who get through it fine, and that's fantastic! But then again, there are many who don't. The ones who get married too quick."
My friend Joe said that.
I thought to myself. Alright well what's too young anyway? Whoever said the average 30 year old is smarter than the 20 year old? Or more stable? Or more ready? Where's the statistics to prove that? Not true. Ahhh I found the problem!! Whenever young couples get a divorce, people involved with their lives always try to blame it on age, but the real reason may just be timing or pure foolishness. Foolishness is in every age.
"You barely know him. You dated him for 3 months. 3 months. Is 3 months enough to learn every single thing you want to learn about someone. Perhaps you don't want to take the time? You know what you want.
Haha it's funny. Recently, when I'm not working, I've been spending my free time watching "The Secret Life Of The American Teenager" on Netflix. It's a series about a girl named Amy who gets pregnant at 15 and eventually gets engaged. She in a way influences the engagement because she's afraid Ricky(the father of the baby) will cheat on her. 2 other high school students, Ben and Adrian, get married because Adrian has a unexpected baby. Although they barely know a thing about each other and are 17 years of age. They choose to marry because they feel it's the "right thing to do." But they don't actually love each other. Same with Ricky and Amy. They love each other because of their experiences together, but they don't actually LOVE each other. Does that make sense?Lol, it's a pretty false and unrealistic show, but like McDonald's, I'm lovin it.
Annnyyyyywaaayyyy. Why do I always get off topic?
"Dude maybe they get married fast because it lowers the chance of them getting cheated on." Sounds pathetic, perhaps a valid point though.
"Ah shut up. We all know relationships revolve around money. 98% of the time. Lord bless the 2% of love relationships. Marriage involves money. Tons of money. Damn why does every situation have to involve money?"
"What's marriage anyways? Two people sharing their lives together, sleeping together, making love, and being happy together? What if they don't commit? What if it doesn't work out? It all goes down hill from there."
Let's say two 19 year old high school dropouts living with single parents with low income are absolutely in love. High School, Middle School, Elementary School sweethearts. Known each other their whole lives, been through almost everything together. They want to get married. Are they going to get married? Sure they can. Would it be SMART for them to get married? Probably nahhhh...
What about two high class college students? Have both of their parents and high income. They've known each other for 3 months and are in love. They want to get married. Are they getting married? Sure they can. Would it be SMART for them to get married? Well. I guess they are the only ones who should answer that question huh? It's not an automatic no because they have MONEY. It all comes down whether they are ready to make this lifelong commitment.
It's just different life situations. We can't all have a happy beginning and a happy ending. "LiFE AinT NO LOvE StoRY Boi!"
That's it. It's sad. Time of love and marriage is highly influenced by MONEY. Marriage at a young age, in my opinion, has nothing to do with age.
You're not an idiot are you? I wanna slap those guys and girls who talk about their relationship problems and say this: "Well I just don't know if I'm in love with him or not." If you say that, then you're not in love. You must know. Your life and happiness counts on it.
C'maaaaan don't let money influence your life and who you love. But who am I kidding?
The percentage of girls that will marry who they love despite him being as broke as a hobo, is absolutely low. The 2%! The girls who do it are true woman though. I'll just say that. True love. What a risk to take!
Nooooo I'm not saying nowadays girls are GOLD DIGGERS, but woman want a sense of security, to know that they shouldn't have much to worry about. They will be in love, happy, and financially stable. BOOM. That's life right there. How can you blame a girl for wanting that?
Alright I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't make this post as interesting as I wanted to. Let me just say this. This is coming from my own mouth. Before you get married, before you "fall in love with your perfect man or woman", before you share your life, belongings, and EVERYTHING you have with this person....
There is no such thing as "the one." I don't believe in the "We were brought together for a reason." or "It was destiny, we were meant to be." NONSENSE. Whatever happens, happens. A person is a person. That person is attractive. You get along with that person. You guys like each other. That's it. It's simple. There is tons of attractive people. There are tons of people you will get along with. There are tons of people you will like.....
But what influences who you choose? When you get deep into it, money is a huge factor. Security. Admit it. It's the tie breaker. What makes someone more special than the other person? Something girls like to say lol, "UGH!! The little things he does that just make me go WILD :)))!!" There's always little things you'll like about different people. But who knows, maybe it is the little things, maybe it is more complicated than money. Psssh what do I know?
Now that I think about it, marriage at a young age isn't a big deal at all. If you have money. Marriage and love is good. It's the point of life.
Don't get me wrong, it's not all about money. Some really rich couples get divorced simply because money actually gets in the way, or because they're too busy working. Not truly in love....
If you're not financially stable you just wait. Be smart I guess. It's not about age people. It's about whether you love really them or not, whether you're happy with them, whether it's the right time or not. And if you're truly in love, truly happy, and the timing just feels right, then why not?
Sometimes the reason we judge and make assumptions about other people's lives is because we're questioning our own lives. Let people live. If they marry and live happily, then that's fantastic. And if they marry and get divorced, then that's too bad. You'll never know what could've happened if you took the different route. It is what it is, not everyone's love life can be a fairy tale.
"You'll never know what could've happened if you made a different decision than your current one. So go on. Do it. Take your chance. But is it a wise one?"
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| Cheyenne Fuller |
Cheyenne Fuller
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