I highly believe that there is such a thing as an "awkward extrovert" or if you want to say it another way, an "outgoing introvert." It's how my friends describe me. Except I myself, don't think I'm thaaaaaaat awkward. If so, I thrive on it because it's just who I am, it makes things awkward and weird, but in a funnier way. It actually makes things more enjoyable. Makes me different, makes me stand out a bit. I'm just me.
"I've met plenty of people who are much more weird than me, so I'm just fine." I tell myself that almost every morning before I get ready to start my day. It sounds kinda mean, but it's also a self-confidence booster for myself to try to "convince" myself I'm doing just fine.
Hmmmm "Making Friends In College." Lol. We all have different strategies for when it comes to making friends right? Or is that stupid? A strategy to making a friend? Nahhhhh dawwggg no one does that, whatever happens happens right?
You guys don't care what I think, but I'm gonna tell you anyways.
You have the "Extreme Extroverts": the ones who love to be loud, have the center of attention, the ones everyone knows and talks about, some people are even shocked if you don't know them. Sometimes a little over-confident in my opinion. They KNOW they'e attractive too. You have, what I like to call, "The Regulars.": I know stupid right? I call them that because I think of them as the students who just set the example as a "regular college student", you know, the students who may or may not join a sorority or frat, but either way, they're in a club, living life, active on social media, have their friends, have their goals. Taking starbucks photos, hipster photos in front of cities, and pics showing how much they love their friend. Yet not too caught up on popularity, but they have their real friends. They're a bit more on the out-going side. Sometimes keep to themselves, sometimes don't. Definition of normal. You know what I'm talking about. Then, you have what I like to call, "The Awkward Introverts." I know, not all introverts are awkward....but still I just like calling them that haha. You know, the ones who are so awkward at making friends and talking to the opposite sex that it makes you want to cringe. The over-the-top netflix, bed, and ice cream eaters. The ones who are always up to make some friends, but just don't have the guts to do so or the ones who don't have friends for obvious reasons...
Actually what I just said may not be true, because I'm taking my opinions and experiences from my first year of college, at Dallas Baptist University. It's not like most colleges I guess, it is a private school.
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| Cheyenne Fuller |
"So you wanna learn how to make friends huh?" The first year of college I wasn't "scared", "excited", or any of that, just neutral. 3 months ago I left my best friends back home in Montana, not knowing when 'll ever see them again. "Making friends" is something that just happens naturally, I would try to tell myself. I'm just going to be myself, the kid who doesn't look like everyone, the kid who doesn't care what others say, 100% true to yourself. You'll make friends if you're true to yourself. Whether you're a druggy, a stuck-up hottie, or an awkward introvert, someone is right with ya.
The very first day of college. I moved in 3 days earlier with a couple other kids because I had an "Advanced Reading Class." After that I was usually in my dorm room or outside playing basketball.
People always ask me, "Dude how can you just go up to strangers and just start talking to them randomly, or do that awkward stuff you do? How can you not care what they say or when they reject you?" Haha one thing you need to know, especially if you're an introvert or moving to a new area with new people or starting college, is that everyone is in the same boat. Everyone doesn't know everyone on the same day. Everyone is new. Fresh start. A lot of people are afraid to make the first move, but want to. You lose absolutely nothing talking to a soul.
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| Cheyenne Fuller |
So I dunno, I just talk to people, normally, awkwardly, or sarcastically. Depends how I'm feeling and my mood I guess.
"Heeeeyyyy what's up my dawwwwgggsss." I said walking to a group of guys sitting down eating their food at the cafeteria. I actually got a couple of weird looks at first. "Ha not much dude you?" "Just eating my food......" I said, still standing up. "Cool." they said looking at me. It was pretty silent now, kinda ya know, awkward. "Alright, well....see ya later." I said. "Haha aight bro see ya." they said. "Whatever, there wasn't enough seats anyway" I told myself. I ate alone that day. I'll try again tomorrow.
When it comes to, "forcing yourself" to make friends, I'll usually study all the people in the room. I'm about to tell you guys my own little personal "strategy." Know who you are. I'm not really an introvert in all honesty, but I've just never gotten along with the people who constantly have to be the center-of-attention all the time. I'll study the room, look at all the people, how they act, their body language. I'm real cocky and think I know how and who a person really is when I look at them. I almost kind of automatically judge them without talking to them, don't we all do that?
It was "Swat Week" a week where people get in colored groups, do activities, and get to know each other kinda. It was a break right now. "Ok that person seems really kind." I'll tell myself, and then I'll go talk to them. She was a cute brunette named Michelle, just sitting in the grass. I went up to her, but didn't say hi. I purposely just stood there and stared at her. I like to meet people in abnormal ways, but not exactly on purpose, sometimes I just act without thinking, it's not on purpose. Which can be funny or just straight up weird and creepy lol.
She looked up and stared back. "Uhhh hi." she said. "Hey." I said, I then sat next to her. "We're going to be friends now." I said. "Hahaha oh are we?" "Yeah, what's your name? I'm Cheyenne Fuller." "I'm Michelle." she said, sticking her hand out to shake mine. We're still friends today and keep in touch, she doesn't have ANY social media, besides a Tumblr and Pinterest haha. That's what made her so interesting. She left after 1 semester. I think she's going to UT Austin now though.
Every time I talk to a person I gain confidence, and become more extroverted. You can be a weird extrovert. I have my own theory that nowadays it's easier to become friends with the opposite sex for some reason. I find it much easier to become friends with girls(not hitting on them) instead of becoming friends with guys. I have more girlfriends than guy friends, but my guy friends are my TRUE, die-fo-a-brotha friends.
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| Cheyenne Fuller |
"Hey man you want some ketchup on your sandwich?" I randomly went up to a guy and said that one time. "Uhhh what? Haha nah I'm good man." he said half-smiling. "Alright well I'm sitting next to you." I said. "Hahaha ok bruh." He had a tall, but skinny build. "Do you think the girls here are hot? I do." I said to him. He just started laughing. Good convo, good guy. We're still friends today.
When I meet someone for the first time I just say what's on my mind, otherwise it's going to be an awkward silence, which does happen to me all the time. But unfortunately, I've had my fair share of "making friends fails" in college. Just too awkward, and it's worst when you see them again and just pass each other with silence and no eye contact at all.
My friends and I were there just goofing off and I decided to talk to people as they walked by our dorm hall outside. I was in an extroverted mood. "Hey whats up my bros?" I said, approaching a group of 4 guys outside. "What's up dude?" they said. "Nothing...." I just stood there, kinda froze. They just looked at me. "You guys wanna play some basketball with me and my friends?" I asked. "Nah man not our game haha." one of them said. "Alright......well....... catch ya later my, my, my brothaaaaazzz." I said, giving them fist bumps. I could here a couple of "what the f%$&@" as I walked away lol.
I went up to a group of frats and sorority girls in the cafeteria with Jonathon. My poor friends, I was king of putting them in awkward situations. "Hey do you guys like my friends shirt?" I asked, pointing at Jonathon's shirt, with a serious expression on my face. "Ummm suuurrree." said one girl. It got silent. Like the whole damn cafeteria did. I didn't mean to make a scene for everyone to see haha. "Do you guys like my shirt?" I asked. Silence. "Ha sure dude." said one guy. Silence again.
"So.....I guess we're sitting with you guys....now?" Huge awkward pause. "Uhhhh sureeee, if you want you can." said the girl. Another awkward silence. "No it's okay, I think this situation just got pretty weird and awkward ya know?" I said. Jonathon stood there shaking his head in disgust, looking at me as if I were an idiot. "Um ok, but you can sit there if you want!" she said. Silence after that. "Ok well.....I guess....I'll shiiiiiiiiit." I said, jogging outta there. "See ya I guesssss?" said one of the girls. Jonathon just stood there embarrassed. It felt like a paparazzi was watching us. It just kinda happened. "Bro that was freakin weird."
I did that one on purpose though. I like to see reactions. Sometimes you're confident, sometimes you're not? Sometimes you're best shutting your mouth(:
"Any of you ladies want to play basketball....with me?" I said, I remember my voice kinda squeaked when I said that. They started laughing, "Haha sorry but no we really don't want to." "Alright well..... are we all friends now?" I asked sarcastically. "Hahaha uh sure we can be friends." "But friends hangout, and you guys don't want to hang with me." I said laughing. "We'll hangout sometime, I promise." one of the girls said. And she did stay true to her promise. Still friends with them today too.
A lot of people make friends mutually, ya know, your friend knows this person, that person knows this person, and so on. It's how it always works. Like a cycle. It's why we're all friends with people on Facebook that we don't even know, but we have mutual friends with them.
Remember a lot of people aren't for you. I would definitely know that. "Hey is alright if I sit with you guys here." I said to a group of guys in the cafeteria. "Sure bro." said one member. I already had my true friends by now, but they always went home during the weekend, and I always stayed in the dorm. This is college! Who goes home every weekend?
"What's your name?" "I'm Cheyenne....Fuller. You?" I asked. "I'm Erik." he introduced his other friends. "Cool." I said. Lol. They were talking about baseball, some television show, and about some girls they knew. None which interested me. You ever meet someone for the first time and you can automatically tell from the first 5 minutes whether you will connect with them or not? Because I can. I just sat there silently. Like you know someone isn't the person for you, but you just can't explain why? This was a great example. I never talked to those guys again. It just happens.
Your mood and the moment really depends too. One time I went up to a table of random girls and guys and started rapping randomly. "Yo yo yo I be doin my thang, realest in da game, I be winnin every time cause I spittin and I rhyme....Just a bunch of laughs everywhere, why did I do that? I forgot. I'm glad I did though, because I'm still friends with them too, well actually some of them.
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| Cheyenne Fuller |
The first couple of people you approach, get "paired" up in groups with, or are forced to meet in orientation are probably not going to be your best friend or even friend in the end. I'm always getting fortunate with great friends early in the beginning. I've been blessed socially my whole life in all honesty.
I'm a huge believer that the people you WERE'NT forced to be friends with are going to be your good friends. I also believe that the location and environment of your college will have a factor on how people act.
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| Cheyenne Fuller |
It's currently September 12th, 2015 as I write this. I'm a second year college student, transferred to Tarrant County College from Dallas Baptist University. I can tell you right now, that community college students definitely keep to themselves more. "The only way you'll make friends here is if you take the initiative I guess." I told myself. So far I have like 4 friends. It's been a roller coaster trying to meet new people here. Some people act like you're a murderer when you approach them.
"Hey whats up man?" I said to a balck guy sitting down eating his food outside. "AUOWSHIT! You scare the hell outta me man, damn bro, Can I just not, all I doin just sittin here eatin dog. I, I, I got class maaaan, I got class maaaan!" he then got up and left. "What the fuuuu...." I thought. I laughed though, I couldn't understand half of what he said.
I approached a girl walking on the sidewalk. "Hey what's up?" "Walking to class, you?" "Not much, just hanging out, looking for friends, literally." I said sarcastically. "Well good luck!" she said walking away, faster this time. Ouch.
It got better, well kinda.
I tried another dude, this time a guy who looked more on the athletic side. "Hey whats up dude? You play ball at all?" I said, making a "follow through shot form" with my hands. "Nah man, nah man, sports ain't really me, but eh you know where I can get any coke?" Dammit. One of these guys. I decided to play stupid though lol. Oh yeah, there's a soda machine over there dude." I said. He roared with laughter. "Hahahaha shiiiiiiit dawg, I talkin bout dat good stuff dawwgg, come on now, come on now!" "Ha sorry man, can't find any of that for you." I mean he's into cocaine, ecstasy, you name it. He doesn't have social media so thankfully he won't know I'm talking about him. Lol. But hey, he's a nice dude. I'm his friend.
"Helllloooooo" I said to a girl eating her subway sandwich alone. "Hi" she said with a weak smile. "No need to call your boyfriend, I'm just here to eat with you and be your friend. It's the first week here and we're both insecure people with no friends." I said jokingly, winking at the same time. "Hahaha ok awesome sounds good then!" she said laughing.
So maybe people just have to realize that talking to a person, isn't "hard" or "easy." You just do it, or you don't. And the person is either, cool, or a jerk. Life is life and it goes on. So you're only gaining something from talking to a new person, you lose nothing. That's what keeps me going and motivated. Mutual friends, ya know the usual, are a good thing too.
Whatever happens, happens. Never FORCE yourself to talk to someone, let things happen naturally and have your heart tell you what it wants to do. Hahaha I know so corny right?
Not everyone is going to like yooooouuuuu......but........there is always someone who will like yooooouuuuu.
The whole introvert/extrovert thing doesn't matter. What matters is just having a friend to do things with and to keep you occupied, not bored. I'm still more of an introvert, than extrovert. Although I'm talking to new people almost every day. I actually make it my goal to make a new friend every day and I'm doing pretty good with it actually.
I say this all the time, but it's only awkward and weird when you say it is. The two words are becoming overused now and I've really only met maybe 3 people my whole life who are the definition of "weird" and sometimes most of those people, choose to be that way, or just don't care. And if they don't care then does it really matter? Nah. Be yourself....
"Hey guys, wanna chill later?" I said to a random group of guys and girls sitting outside. "Umm well I mean....I guess....what do you want to do?" said one of the guys. "Let's go see a movie." I said. They all sat there in silence. "Never mind, never mind, never mind...." I mumbled, walking away, but then laughing. Laughing hard. I could then hear them laughing. I walked their way again and we all started laughing together. "Are you serious?" said one of the girls. "I'm up for a movie. What's your name man?" We're all great friends right now.
"You're awkward, not a bad awkward, but a good awkward, a funny awkward. You're funny and different and that's why I like you."
Thanks for reading,
Cheyenne Fuller,
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"Alright one thing you have to remember Cheyenne is that some people may come up to you and ask you for money. JUST IGNORE THEM and they will go away, a lot of people try to trick you and use you, don't let that happen." There were tons of homeless people every day that day. No way it's crowded like that all the time right?
