Specifically, lets say early-mid 2000s, approaching new people during college, the mall, or just public places in general was not considered "weird" or "awkward." It's how you met new people. You had no choice, you didn't have the internet, social media, or dating apps to help you out. Whether it be trying to find a cute opposite sex, a new friend, or even someone to do business with.
Now it's a different story.
Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, Tinder, POF, Christian Mingle, Match.com, and Zoosk, are some of the online sites/apps that I can think of on the top my head, they're the popular sites you can meet random people as well.
So where is my evidence to back up that technology has changed the socialization of our generation? Specifically 2010-2016 is where social media REALLY evolved and took over. Look it up online, I don't have time to give a history lesson. It's an obvious statement as well.
Let's say 2016 vs 2002 for example. Approaching someone back then would be more intimate and meaningful. That person you approached isn't constantly checking his Insta likes, tweets, or if any chicks responded to his Tinder messages. This person KNOWS who his real friends are, he isn't blurred by the 1,000 or more "friends" he has on social media. The fluff. So this approach is more memorable, a new person in his life, he isn't thinking about fluff. This is living in the moment and enjoying the people who mean most to you.
Now what if you tried this right now?
Sure, of course you could make a new friend easy as that. Just like back then, but here's the problem.
NO ONE WANTS TO.
"Awww approaching people is so awwwkkkkwwwaarrrdddd." "I ain't approaching her, what if she rejects me?" "Nah he looks like a douchebag."
Heck! Even approaching people you see regularly at college or school is now considered unnatural or awkward when it's not. And even if they do want to, it's not meaningful enough simply because of the amount of messages, fluff people, likes, and online messages being sent and received on their phone every day anyway and the amount of people who'd rather be on their phone to look at people instead of actually engaging with people. The person you just met, usually ends up being an acquaintance or somebody you used to know(shout out to Gotye, good song). Very rarely will they become something more. Rarely will approaching someone random result in friendship unless they are regularly seen in your life.
What I think personally is that the evolving of social media and technology has made people in this generation more scared to actually talk to people in real life? Like what? It's made people forget the value of actual friendship, bonding, and engagement.
I had a talk with an older gentleman around his mid-forties. I met him while I was working at Kroger a couple of days ago. I was on my phone while on the job and he jokingly called me out while he asked me where the marshmallows were. We had a conversation that suddenly turned into one about socializing.
"Well I mean damn, you young adults just have your heads buried in your phone. Missing out on fantastic people you can meet in real life and wonderful opportunities. Some of you don't even know what life is. You think just because you're capturing a beautiful photo of a sunset with your badass camera for 200 likes on social media from pointless ass people that don't mean a damn thing in your life that this is enjoying life?" Ya'll's life isn't about the memories and fun anymore, it's all about the damn attention and ego. You young adults have made life an ego contest, fake popularity contest, and an online slut show. That's it. Communication isn't "awkward" ya'll just have this perception where being comfortable all the time is the way of life, and that's not true. So what? It's not awkward to message a girl on Tinder or whatever that you don't even know and ask her if she wants to come over and suck your d%&$, but it's awkward to approach a girl in real-time and say hello huh? Maaaaan get outta here wit dat bullshit!" he exclaimed.
I was surprised by how much he got into it. I told him I was going to write a blog on it and he agreed to it, I also asked for a selfie I could put on it and he said "hell nawwhhh, I don't do that selfie bullshit."
My point is, if you were to go through your Facebook friends, Insta/Twitter followers, Snapchat, etc. and message every single "friend" of yours, how many would respond back? How many would even know who you actually are? How many of the conversations would be something of value? Not small talk. Probably very little people would respond back without it being meaningless or awkward. The amount of "followers" we have is mostly acquaintances. Exception to some other, rare people. The people who have 300 or less followers.
Ahhhhh I got it. Social Media has made everyone have tons of meaningless friendships instead of meaningful friendships with less people, but people who are definitely worth the time.
Social Media has prevented people from actually socializing in person, they'e too comfortable behind their phones. But uncomfortable around people.
Pssshhhh ok? Well what's your point about this anyway Cheyenne? What are you some psychological social wizard or something?
Lol no, I just think time spent in life should be about the intimacy, memories, and laughs. I'm just tired of being the only person who isn't on his phone when in public or getting on Snapchat/Twitter or something and watching people post stupid shit with zombies coming out of their head. Or even worse, when someone you know is always "liking" your social media posts but then they have the nerve to not even talk to you when you see them in public. Like what the heck?
Don't get me wrong, I have social media, and it's entertaining at times. but not even as close to as fun as just being around great people. Hanging out and having fun times isn't as cool as it used to be. People are too focused on capturing the moment instead of living the moment.
Hanging out nowadays is being on your phone around people. No one can go out and have fun without having to post it on their snapchat.
DON'T GET ME WRONG, technology is great, there's even people who have met their spouse and best friends because of it. But nonetheless it still makes some people scared and socially incapable of even talking to a stranger in real life,
Ok here's the conclusion. You hangout with your friends, but end up being on your phone just to watch other "friends" have a good time, when those friends you are watching are actually doing the same damn thing! It's a cycle.
My point is, if you have the nerve to post half naked selfies, tweet your strong opinions, or talk about how hard your life is on Facebook(even though it isn't), then how come you can't do all of that in real life?
Who knows maybe the whole Sorority, Frat, Club thing in colleges is actually a good thing. Guess that's what I get for dissing on it before in my previous blogs haha. Its funny because even though I'm not for the whole sorority/frat thing, I personally think that those in sororities, frats, and clubs actually have the legit friendships once they bond together.
"No one cares Cheyenne. What you mad or something?"
Yes I know no one cares pal, this post was absolutely pointless, there's no going back, the generation is the way it is and it will just keep evolving, you just gotta go with the flow and do what you want I guess.
No I'm not mad, but everything someone chooses to do in this world, influences another, and another, and another, and soon will influence and change the people around me. It all depends on generation change. Us 80s and 90s babies have gone through a huge technological change in lifestyle, compared to 2000s babies who think technology is what makes life. That's my thought on that.
Because what I'm doing right now? This blog I'm writing? No one is going to give a crap, they'll read it, but won't care. The ego in this world is too high.
My best advice is just make sure you're enjoying life with the right people and having the mindset of "no regret." Have fun. With people you care about. And if fun means being on your phone all the time or following and then unfollowing people on social media to look popular, or buying your Instagram followers and likes for an ego boost because you can't make friends in real life and need a way to feel good about yourself then pshhhh go right ahead, it's your life. I'm not judging. But there's an easier way to do it. Just go out and actually meet people.
But hey it's your life! Shape your world.
Tell me what you think. Remember, I'm Cheyenne Fuller and I'm no expert in anything. Just a dude typing his thoughts on a computer.
Thanks for reading my rant.
Cheyenne Fuller
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