Sunday, September 4, 2016

The Perfect Nobody.

I started my third year of college today. I'm actually in the library typing this up quickly as I wait an hour for my next class. Probably won't post it until a couple days after, like usual.

Perhaps I could get to know some new people? Haha nahhhhh I have enough homies, I have enough adventures.

Girls?

Nahhhh no problem for me there, sometimes there's such a thing as too much people in your life. I'm over the whole "getting to know cute girls" crap. That's soooo what a freshman would do.

This whole college thing. Once you hit your junior year, your third year you start to get tired of it. Ughhh you want it to be over. Money is now definitely more on the mind, more than it ever was before. This is it guys, maybe we've figured ourselves out. I think I know who I am. Age 20, that's a good age to know what the hell you're trying to accomplish in life. Or at least a good age to start figuring out what the purpose of your life is.

It's funny. A lot of times you can't see yourself changing through processes, but when you can it is SO COOL, yet so hard to understand why we used to do the things we used to do.

I used to always think that the objective in life is just to find your soulmate, to "fall in love."

It still is perhaps, but maybe it's the process. Maybe it's how we find this love and what we're exactly looking for. The journey that makes us who we are.

Attraction to the opposite sex is so powerful. It changes and shapes you.

Hitting on girls, partying, sex, alcohol, and a good time. I think I'm over it. ALREADY. I haven't turned 21 yet either. I'm trying to sound mature, trust me I'm not even close, I don't know if I'm ready to be "mature." Whatever that definition is. Moving out? Better job? Girlfriend? Wife? Babies? Family? Geez damnnnn couple more years and I'll be in that direction. Gotta give it time. Many people in my life my age have already reached the marriage/baby stage, sheeeesh!

That's bad. I mean the sex/alcohol part. Cause it means I've seen and done everything that there is to do(except grow the hell up). Is getting older supposed to be special?

I've been getting into a lot of romance movies and self-help books, not cause I'm a little wimp, but more because it's fascinating seeing the perspective of love and attraction from another person's point of view. How someone's flaws and beauty can be considered perfect to someone else.

Looks are just nothing to get "hyped" over. Attractive people are everywhere. So why are most men, the media, magazines etc. always hyping women, sex, etc. Pretty women are every where so whats the big deal? That whole "love at first sight" thing we all know is a load of garbage being disguised and misinterpreted for lust.

There is nothing perfect about anyone, not talking about looks of course. Some people actually LOOK perfect to the eye of a lot of other people. Which is why I believe looks and attraction are just something over-hyped, especially when men are talking about women. Let's talk about compatibility.

I mean yeah of course we all want to be with someone we're attracted to. But what else is going to make that person perfect to you?

Life is one of those things where you just can't think about what could've happened or who else we could've ended up with. Cause truth is, we all could've ended up with someone different who also could've been described as "perfect" just because they're also attracted to you.

Wanna get deep?

You ever think of the perfect someone in your mind? You could be single or in a relationship, OR MARRIED. Who knows?  Like they COULD be a real person you fantasize about, or they don't even have to be real. But either way they make your fake reality absolutely lovely, they're everything you ever wanted.

SNAP! You're back to reality and chances are you're never going to get what your thoughts want you to get.

I truly believe there is no such thing as "the right person for you" or taking time to find "the perfect one."  If you're attracted to someone and they're attracted to you, then that's it, you guys like each other and should perhaps be together. What is there to overthink?

Compatibility? We're all compatible with thousands of people around the world we've never met, every single one of them having either 1 huge thing in common with you that could cause love to spark or it could be 100 things. So it's more like a who's going to pop into your life first. Once that person is in your life, no more thoughts of "Who else could've it been?" should even be in your mind anymore. If you truly like them, that wouldn't cross the mind.

I used to laugh and joke about particular people who have the ability to move on from a break up and find someone else in like a week or two. But now I just ask myself well what's the big deal? Is it really bad to do that? I mean in some circumstances yes, depending on the length of the previous relationship. But it doesn't mean you didn't love the last person you were in a relationship with. Maybe love is just so powerful that some people need it more than others, unless it's forced love?. Corny, corny, yeah I know, but only the person falling in love would know. Psh, I wouldn't know.

Breakups happen because something wrong happened or a disagreement occurred. Obviously something severe if a break up has to be the result.

It's just what it is. It's normal. No couple's love is any more perfect or special than any others. Right? I mean why should it be? Love can't be more special than another love.

Love is special but not perfect. Just like the person in your life is special but not perfect.

Everything I write about is explained more complicated than it should be. Oh my apologies. Basically I'm trying to say that if you find someone special in your life. All comparisons to other people, and all doubts, or "what ifs" should be thrown out the window. Because now it's just you and that person and that's all that matters. Who you could've been with, where you could've been, or how you could be living doesn't matter.

All that matters is that you like someone and they like you. Once it is happening, it doesn't matter how or why. As long as you're happy together, because finding someone "better" than you're previous relationship doesn't really make sense to me.

Just find someone who makes you happy. Love is special, but your love with someone is NOT anymore special than someone else's love with someone. Make sense? Who knows. I just re-read that, maybe it doesn't make sense.

Hmmm.

Weird thoughts, weird writing, weird reading, so cluttered and quite confusing this post is. But I dunno.

I like it.



Thanks For Reading.

Cheyenne Fuller

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