The Perfect Nobody.

I started my third year of college today. I'm actually in the library typing this up quickly as I wait an hour for my next class. Probably won't post it until a couple days after, like usual.

Perhaps I could get to know some new people? Haha nahhhhh I have enough homies, I have enough adventures.

Girls?

Nahhhh no problem for me there, sometimes there's such a thing as too much people in your life. I'm over the whole "getting to know cute girls" crap. That's soooo what a freshman would do.

This whole college thing. Once you hit your junior year, your third year you start to get tired of it. Ughhh you want it to be over. Money is now definitely more on the mind, more than it ever was before. This is it guys, maybe we've figured ourselves out. I think I know who I am. Age 20, that's a good age to know what the hell you're trying to accomplish in life. Or at least a good age to start figuring out what the purpose of your life is.

It's funny. A lot of times you can't see yourself changing through processes, but when you can it is SO COOL, yet so hard to understand why we used to do the things we used to do.

I used to always think that the objective in life is just to find your soulmate, to "fall in love."

It still is perhaps, but maybe it's the process. Maybe it's how we find this love and what we're exactly looking for. The journey that makes us who we are.

Attraction to the opposite sex is so powerful. It changes and shapes you.

Hitting on girls, partying, sex, alcohol, and a good time. I think I'm over it. ALREADY. I haven't turned 21 yet either. I'm trying to sound mature, trust me I'm not even close, I don't know if I'm ready to be "mature." Whatever that definition is. Moving out? Better job? Girlfriend? Wife? Babies? Family? Geez damnnnn couple more years and I'll be in that direction. Gotta give it time. Many people in my life my age have already reached the marriage/baby stage, sheeeesh!

That's bad. I mean the sex/alcohol part. Cause it means I've seen and done everything that there is to do(except grow the hell up). Is getting older supposed to be special?

I've been getting into a lot of romance movies and self-help books, not cause I'm a little wimp, but more because it's fascinating seeing the perspective of love and attraction from another person's point of view. How someone's flaws and beauty can be considered perfect to someone else.

Looks are just nothing to get "hyped" over. Attractive people are everywhere. So why are most men, the media, magazines etc. always hyping women, sex, etc. Pretty women are every where so whats the big deal? That whole "love at first sight" thing we all know is a load of garbage being disguised and misinterpreted for lust.

There is nothing perfect about anyone, not talking about looks of course. Some people actually LOOK perfect to the eye of a lot of other people. Which is why I believe looks and attraction are just something over-hyped, especially when men are talking about women. Let's talk about compatibility.

I mean yeah of course we all want to be with someone we're attracted to. But what else is going to make that person perfect to you?

Life is one of those things where you just can't think about what could've happened or who else we could've ended up with. Cause truth is, we all could've ended up with someone different who also could've been described as "perfect" just because they're also attracted to you.

Wanna get deep?

You ever think of the perfect someone in your mind? You could be single or in a relationship, OR MARRIED. Who knows?  Like they COULD be a real person you fantasize about, or they don't even have to be real. But either way they make your fake reality absolutely lovely, they're everything you ever wanted.

SNAP! You're back to reality and chances are you're never going to get what your thoughts want you to get.

I truly believe there is no such thing as "the right person for you" or taking time to find "the perfect one."  If you're attracted to someone and they're attracted to you, then that's it, you guys like each other and should perhaps be together. What is there to overthink?

Compatibility? We're all compatible with thousands of people around the world we've never met, every single one of them having either 1 huge thing in common with you that could cause love to spark or it could be 100 things. So it's more like a who's going to pop into your life first. Once that person is in your life, no more thoughts of "Who else could've it been?" should even be in your mind anymore. If you truly like them, that wouldn't cross the mind.

I used to laugh and joke about particular people who have the ability to move on from a break up and find someone else in like a week or two. But now I just ask myself well what's the big deal? Is it really bad to do that? I mean in some circumstances yes, depending on the length of the previous relationship. But it doesn't mean you didn't love the last person you were in a relationship with. Maybe love is just so powerful that some people need it more than others, unless it's forced love?. Corny, corny, yeah I know, but only the person falling in love would know. Psh, I wouldn't know.

Breakups happen because something wrong happened or a disagreement occurred. Obviously something severe if a break up has to be the result.

It's just what it is. It's normal. No couple's love is any more perfect or special than any others. Right? I mean why should it be? Love can't be more special than another love.

Love is special but not perfect. Just like the person in your life is special but not perfect.

Everything I write about is explained more complicated than it should be. Oh my apologies. Basically I'm trying to say that if you find someone special in your life. All comparisons to other people, and all doubts, or "what ifs" should be thrown out the window. Because now it's just you and that person and that's all that matters. Who you could've been with, where you could've been, or how you could be living doesn't matter.

All that matters is that you like someone and they like you. Once it is happening, it doesn't matter how or why. As long as you're happy together, because finding someone "better" than you're previous relationship doesn't really make sense to me.

Just find someone who makes you happy. Love is special, but your love with someone is NOT anymore special than someone else's love with someone. Make sense? Who knows. I just re-read that, maybe it doesn't make sense.

Hmmm.

Weird thoughts, weird writing, weird reading, so cluttered and quite confusing this post is. But I dunno.

I like it.

Thanks For Reading.

Cheyenne Fuller

https://www.instagram.com/kingofawkward23/
https://twitter.com/kingofawkward23

Follow my blog and check out my other posts!

The Secret To Tinder And Online Dating

BEFORE I start this post, let me just say that I 100% do not mind sharing this post or am afraid of what people will think or say. I, just like many others in this world have dated, hooked up, blah blah blah, etc. I'm no different from you. I'm 99.9% sure that my future girlfriend and wife WILL NOT be from a damn dating site, so I'm more than comfortable sharing this.

Now let's continue (:

Crazy how nowadays you can meet someone who can completely change your life just by the swipe of a button and a couple of slick pick-up lines, or simply just being attractive to that person.

If you haven't read my last blog post "Socialization In This Generation", I'd suggest reading it. This post is kinda an funny, make-you-cringe, advice topic to compliment that post. Almost like a part 2. So go read that before you read this.

Approaching the opposite sex is now considered creepy, weird, and awkward, unless you're attractive. of course. Compared to back then when we didn't have online dating and it was completely normal and flattering.

But none of that matters because it's the new way of life now. I guess I and others who agree with me just have to shut up and deal with  it. Of course there's still that 20% of the world who still believes in doing things the classy way and being I dunno, normal? Nahhhh forget that, is anything normal in this generation anyway?

Time for some honesty.

Back in Middle School and High School, all my things, flings, and whatever were because of actual face-to-face communication. No online stuff involved. Once I started college though, things changed.

In my three years of college, only one time I've "dated" someone after meeting them in person. The rest were from Tinder.

I mentioned it in the last post, and I will again. Tinder, POF, Christian Mingle, Zoosk, and Match.com are the popular ones, I guess there is some upcoming ones too.

So after I did a little research, I found the main reasons to why people are using these apps.

- Afraid of approaching, rejection, or awkward communication
- They aren't finding the "right" person for them in real-time communication
- Hooking up
- Business(Drug & Alcohol dealing)
- Prostitution & Money

At first glance, when I very first found out about these apps, I was wrong to think that only socially inept or introverts used those apps, but then they just grew and grew and became so popular.

Like I talked about before, approaching the opposite sex because of attraction, is just harder in this generation because of the expansion and growth of online sites. It allows people to get rejected or become successful with the opposite sex by being lazy. It's caused all of us to jump to the conclusion that online dating is the next level, face-to-face interaction is a lost art, unless the people you come across are seen regularly and are of course, attractive.

And because of this is why I've had some experience with online sites, but just two. And I'll be more than happy to share with you guys the techniques that have worked and not worked with me and the oh so fun awkward experiences that still come with it.

Geez give me some credit for being honest and writing this stuff online and sharing this nonsense with you guys.

Freshman year of college I just was not looking for a girlfriend. Well I was, but I just wasn't mentally there, but I mean you still obviously want a girl or someone to romantically or whatever hangout with you know what I mean? Yes I know it sounds horrible, but I'm trying to put it in the best way possible without it making me look like I'm a manslut or something lol.

Last year, my sophomore year of college, I was financially more stable, have a car, a job, and can now, if I want, get a girlfriend. But the difference is that I transferred from DBU, where all the outgoing, pretty kind girls were, to TCC, where there still are pretty girls(they're pretty girls everywhere) but they aren't looking to settle at TCC, neither am I and are either waiting for a relationship, are already married with kids, or are complete introverts. They go to class and then they leave right after. It is NOT a fun college atmosphere at community colleges.

Don't get me wrong I had things with some college girls that I met in person, but believe me, meeting someone on Tinder compared to in person is just different. It's kinda hard to explain, but you have this thought in the back of your mind. "I met her on Tinder." And meeting someone in person, to me, is just more intimate and meaningful. More memorable in my opinion, it's something special, especially if you end up dating or perhaps getting married to that person.

So that's that. I'm no going into detail.

Now the actual using the app part. There is only three online dating apps I've EVER downloaded. Tinder, POF(Plenty Of Fish), and Christian Mingle.

Ok so, Christian Mingle I downloaded the very day I moved to Texas 2 years ago, and I immediately thought it was foolish. "Why did I download this again?" You had to pay money to meet people pretty much, and I just didn't think it was worth it, I deleted the app the first day, but I forgot to actually DEACTIVATE my account, so it surprised me when one day, like a year later, one of my friends told me that she saw my profile on there. "Oh no no no, trust me I'm not on there." I laughed. It's definitely for some people though, I'm not bashing it at all, just not me.

POF I had for about a week until I deactivated my account. In my opinion you just couldn't find quality people and the boy to girl ratio is just unbelievable, 10% chance a girl would respond to your message. I deleted it the day that a attractive girl messaged me saying "Alright hun $100 for the night, you can come over and do whatever you want with me, just make sure you have the money. "Nope, I ain't desperate," I deleted the app. A waste of time and a huge chance of catching STD's or something lol.

Tinder is the one I found the success in. How it works for those who don't know, it's pretty simple. It gives you a list of the opposite sex around you, depending on the specified location and miles apart you have set. You swipe left(no) if you're not interested or attracted to the person and you swipe right(yes) if you're attracted to the person. I like this because you don't have to waste your time messaging people and not knowing if they're interested or not in the first place. You usually run out of likes after you consistently swipe on I'd like to say 70 or 80 people it seems? And you have to wait 12 hours to "play" again. Specifically I'd like to say you get 70 chances to swipe right per day.

I look at Tinder almost like a strategy game, I try my best to standout from the other guys, cause that is pretty much what it is, a contest against your competitors to see who the girl will message and who she finds most interesting.

I have a friend who has a Tinder and she is an attractive girl. One time we were hanging out with some other friends and we all showing each other our Tinder profiles for fun. For every swipe session she has(around 80 per day), she ends up matching with 20 guys per day. She is VERY picky too, I'd like to say the average attractive girl on Tinder matches with around 30 guys per day, until they decide to unmatch them depending on their creepy messages etc, but that is something I don't know at all, a guess and an assumption.

You see, something I do know is that some guys just constantly swipe right and don't even expand on the girl's profile to see what their intentions are. (They do this usually because 80% of the girls on Tinder are actually very attractive) Doing this actually lessens their chances because they're wasting their likes on girls who aren't attracted to them, They aren't taking the time to ask themselves, "Hmmm am I actually interested in this girl? Would this girl actually swipe right on me?

Now I'll share with you my strategy, or what works for ME. "Rules" of mine if you will. And noooooo I'm not a "pro" or whatever, there's no such thing. This is just what I do, and I'm just sharing for the fun of it. FOR THE FUN OF IT I REPEAT, so don't take this too seriously readers.

Trust me, after seeing my friends' Tinder account around a year ago it really helped seeing from a girl's point of view.


Rule #1 - Know Your Intentions And Her Intentions. -

Let's be for real. Realistically, 95% of the people on Tinder are looking for either two things. Hooking up or dating, experimenting, and trying to find a "soulmate" or whatever. The other 5% is the stuff I mentioned above. So before you swipe or even message a girl you've matched with make sure you know her intentions. Read her frickin bio and study her pictures, you can usually tell. You're not gonna ask a Christian girl who's looking for a man of Christ to spend the night with you. Although on rare occasions, some girls you didn't think would be naughty end up actually surprising you...but besides that, play it safe and know her intentions.

Rule #2 - No Bland First Messages. -

This means for the first message quit saying just "Hey" or "Hi." Or horny messages like "DTF?"(Down To F$%#) or "Movies and cuddling at my place?" There are so many guys this girl has matched with and they are doing the same thing, and the only ones who will end up getting messaged back are the top of the top attractive ones. It all comes down to attractiveness, but if you want to show that you're not just some dude, like the rest, then try to stand out, but don't go overboard. It's hard to explain, you just have to be confident and yourself, but distance yourself from the competition. Pshhh I dunno, let me try to explain. (I crossed out their names but I only now realized I still mentioned their name in the text lol)

Usually whenever I message a girl, I try to incorporate something that is on her bio into the first message I send her. If her bio is pretty bland, then I'll keep it simple with something like "Hey you're an absolute babe. How's it going?" or something along the lines of that. I like to mix up, I try not to always send the same things to girls cause it's not special.  I usually message girls based on what I'm doing at the moment or what's on her bio. Also, if I can't think of a first message to send, asking a question is more likely to get a reply back instead of just saying something. And remember although I found some success on this site, along with that comes the ton of rejection(not getting messaged back). It always involves rejection, TONS of it, so never feel bad, it literally happens to everyone.

Rule #3 - Quit Telling Them That They're Attractive -

The first line I said above is good enough and all you need. Don't over do it.

Quit saying all that "Hey you're really pretty." "You're soooooo attractive." "You're absolutely gorgeoussssss." stuff. Every guy says that and even though some girls like it, most girls here it all the freakin time and respond with "Thank You." even though they're really thinking "OMMMGGG YOU THINK I'M ATTRACTIVE!? WELL THANK YOU FOR NOTICING! EVERYONE TELLS ME THAT TOO!" Sometimes, you get friendzoned if you do that. You already matched with her, she swiped right on you, so obviously there is something about you that she's attracted to, you swiped right on her so she already knows you're attracted to her. Many girls will disagree with me on this one and tell you to be a "gentleman", but just trust me, you can be a classy guy without constantly throwing compliments desperately waiting to get one back. Quit telling her she's pretty and keep her guessing, cause she is waiting for you to do it just like every other guy. Do the opposite of Shia Labeouf and "Just don't do it!" Lol. Only until you see her in person you should compliment, not on Tinder though.

Rule #4 - Knock It Off With The Ab Pics. -

"OMG LADIES!! LOOK AT THIZ GUY I JUSS MATCHED WIZ! HE HAS ABBZZZZ <3 <3!!"

Hmmm I wonder if girls actually do that....probably not.

So many other guys have abs too, better ones than you probably, and they don't even boast about it. In my opinion it's not a big deal, and there is nothing wrong in being confident with yourself, but geez c'mon, there's so many other pictures of yourself that ladies will find more attractive and interesting instead of a damn ab pic that they probably come across from different guys on Tinder 50 times a day. You honestly have a better chance of matching with a girl if you have a pic with your mom compared to a mirror selfie. Exceptions if you're on the beach or at a party or something, but way to many guys have the gym abs selfie as a picture and end up looking uninteresting and boring. But hey I guess it still works for some.

Rule #5 - Chill With The Smiley Faces Dude - What are you still in high school or something? Middle School maybe? If I were a girl and got a message from a 40 year old with a smiley face, I'd be creeped out, Ok I'm just overreacting I know, kinda kidding, but something about it makes me think "fake" and not truthful. Haha obviously this isn't always true, but it's just the vibe I would get if they kept doing it. Can you not have a convo without putting a smiley face or "lol in every single message? Exceptions to if you know the girl already obviously. Smiley faces just making seem small ok? LOL. Not a big deal though, I probably use a smiley every once in a while.

Ok stupid rule, but I needed 10, so just bare with me hahaha

Rule #6 - Talk Like You Already Know Her And Stop Using Small Talk -

Small talk means "How are you?" or "What do you like to do for fun?" Save that stuff for when you're actually with her. Get to the point, with your intentions but don't come on too strong, light flirting without the "pretty" or "gorgeous" compliments, she already knows she is hot. You know what I mean haha. If anything fails and you run out of ideas, MUSIC is the best thing to get the conversation rolling.

Rule #7 - Your Bio -

Either two things are done wrong. The gentleman's bio is wayyyy too long or the guy doesn't even have a bio! Girls actually read the bios guys haha, and don't make it long. She's trying to use Tinder not read an English assignment. It makes you look like you're trying too hard. Oh and even if hooking up and sex is your intentions, DON'T PUT IT ON YOUR BIO FOOL.  Although it could possibly work, it lowers your chances. I'm surprised some idiots actually do that. And even worse I'm surprised it even WORKS for them, but I say play it safe. Keep it light and simple, here is what mine used to look like. Keep them guessing.

Tons of guys obviously have much better ones than mine, but they are good at what they do, complete players and really creative too, just be funny, humble, light, etc. Don't overthink a dating app. Remember it's a dating app, don't take this shit seriously.

Rule #8 - Be Consistent -

Some girls may say it's "annoying" or the guy seems "desperate" when he texts back right away but I say do it anyway, Remember as much as I hate to say the truth, she is messaging other guys exactly at the same time she is messaging you. If you take forever to respond, you will be at the bottom of the pack and might not get a message back because she now knows more about the guys who were consistent compared to you.

Rule #9 - Don't Message Multiple Girls At The Same Time -

Girls aren't stupid. Well some are lol, but anyway they can just tell, I don't know how, but most girls are geniuses and can tell. If you match with let's sayyyyy 7 girls, then just message only two. This way you have all your focus and attention on them and aren't getting mixed up, they are  two different people. Make it special. You don't have to try and look like a player, or look cool.

Rule #10 - Have Respect -

Even if messaging a girl "Down to f%!*?" or Friends with benefits?" actually worked, I still wouldn't do it. It's just something a boy does, not a man. She's a human being not a piece of meat. If you end up hooking up with her, stay the night with her, don't leave. She gave you what you wanted, so you can at least give her the intimacy and emotion that she may want. Lol I don't even know what I'm talking about, I'm cringing while writing this yo.

Overview. If you like someone and they like you, I suggest focusing on that person and deleting that app. It ruins relationships and causes trust problems. But if you're looking to have fun, pshhhh honestly can't think of a better solution than Tinder.

Like I said before, those methods(rules) I came up with are what I use for myself, you probably have ideas of your own that are much better than mine, these are just opinionated suggestions of mine.

Pretty good? Stupid? Dumb? Pointless? I ain't no King of Girls, tell me what you think. Tell me your strategies. This is just fun guys, I'm having fun writing this.

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it.

Cheyenne Fuller,

https://www.instagram.com/kingofawkward23/
https://twitter.com/kingofawkward23

Follow my blog and check out my other posts!

Awkward And Embarrassing Texas Country Dance Class

This experience happened almost 2 years ago, so it's now acceptable for me to share it without feeling weird haha.

I remember the first time a girl asked me to dance. A GIRL. ASKING ME. TO DANCE. It's usually the other way around ya know? Usually the guy asks the girl, especially here in Texas, they're all about respect, tradition, and all that Texas stuff. Honestly I dunno, but anyway.

It wasn't middle school, it wasn't high school, it was actually college. My first year of college 2014. Dallas Baptist University. It was around the middle of the year and they had a dance going on at the Town Home apartments.. Jonathon, Bill, Adam, Isaac, and all my main friends were all home. They all went home for the weekend. I hated it when they did that.

I'm one of those people who hates staying indoors when you know you have the opportunity to go out and do something. I knew it was a Texas dance thing, and ever since I moved down here I knew the time would come when this two-stepping dance thing would approach me. I was pretty bad. At dancing in general.

But hey, at the same time I put on my "YOLO" attitude and I went to the dance. Alone. No girl, not even a guy.

I arrived a little late on purpose, that way I wouldn't be the in the corner with the cup of punch in his hand watching everyone have fun, while he pretends to have fun even though he isn't.

I happened to see Lawrence there, a friend of mine in Art class. "Ugh thank God." Actually I had just a couple of other friends who were there too, but they were already dancing like they were pros, they had partners already. They were really good, I'll admit it. Or at least they were having so much fun, that it made them look good.

"Why aren't you out there busting moves man?" I asked. "Nah man I don't dance, I'm too stiff for this stuff." he laughed. He was a little taller than me, but had huge arms. Always lifting in the gym. "Yeah well same here, I've just never really learned." I made sure not to crack a Texas joke in front of him, because he was ALL ABOUT TEXAS. I was surprised he couldn't country dance or two-step, geez whatever it's called lol.

"Hey I'll be right back, I'm gonna get some more food, besides, that's the only reason I came anyway." he laughed. He left for his food, and I stood there. At the corner. With punch in my hand. Pretending to have fun.

A guy approached me. He was one of those dudes who always a bit too focused on getting the girls and their attention. They gave him their numbers too, hey but I wouldn't know, I'm assuming. What I do know is one time he got multiple numbers in the same day and made the mistake of texting all of them AT THE SAME TIME. Three of the gals happened to be in the room at the same time, so you know that didn't end to well. But anyways, off topic.

"Hey man why you just standing there all alone and stuff?" he said. "Oh nahhhh I'm here with Lawrence, he just went to go get some food." I said. "You should go and dance man, I've been talking and dancing with pretty girls all night!" he said with a grin on his face.

"That's great man. You should feel good." I said, half sarcastically. As I said that a EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE BRUNETTE girl approached us. Like dude, she was pretty. "Well hi there!" said he said. "Hi!" she said. They sparked a small-talk convo. I'm assuming they knew each other by the way they were talking. "How's your night been going?" he asked. He kept forcing conversation with her, until she made his mouth drop.

She looked at me, "Well hey I was just wondering if you wanted to come dance with me." she said smiling. Haha wuuutttt. I felt like a 7th grader in a middle school drama movie. "Oh were ya wondering now?" I grinned like an idiot, but my heart was racing simply because I was going to look like an idiot out there. "Well as much as I'd love to, I'd rather not embarrass ourselves out there, or you at least." I said, forcing a fake laugh.. "Aww that's too bad...well I can teach you!!" she said smiling. I couldn't believe this was happening.

"Trust me I would absolutely love to...but yeahhhh...." I said, trying to sound "slick." though. "Well gee, thanks, I guess I'll see you around, have a nice night!" We exchanged names. "Well hey I'll dance with you!" exclaimed the guy. "Haha well sure!" she said. He quickly looked back at me and winked. "Catch ya later man!" Definitely felt like a movie scene. "I hope he trips and falls or something." I thought at the moment. I know I'm really mean.


And of course there were some guys who knew me, who suddenly came over, surrounded at the scene. "Daaaaang boy, you gonna get let that thang slip away from you???? Daaaaaang boy, she lookin fiiinnneeee boy!" they kept exclaiming. "I don't know how to dance guys." I said laughing. They started laughing too. "Boy you messed up boy. boy you messed up boy." they kept repeating. I left. I had no time for this. My fault, insecurity hit me hard that day.

A week later.

My friends Alex and Emily invited me over to a dance party in Dallas. Apparently it was a good price. "I'm not paying money to look like a fool, sorry guys." I said grinning. "I'll pay for you! Just geez! Come on!"exclaimed Alex. "Uhhh sure. I guess I'm not doing anything." I said. It never hurt to learn something new right?

We arrived and immediately I was disappointed. They told me it was a party, not a two-steppng dance class!! "Uhh yeah on second thought guys, I think I'll wait in the car." I said. "Don't be silly! The class is an hour long, and after that it's freestyle!" exclaimed Emily. "Besides we're paying for you remember? So you better not bail kid." said Alex laughing.

Alex was in a good mood because she got to see her friend and be his dance partner. Emily went with some other dude she knew. Greeeeaaaatttt I gotta be with a stranger.

"Ok everybody! We're all gonna get started here!" said the instructor. It was both a man and a lady. "Get in a large circle everyone!!" exclaimed the man with a huge high-pitched southern accent. "I knew this was going to happen at some point in my life when I moved down here." I thought to myself. I pictured it ever since.

I remember it as it were yesterday. They spent 5 minutes talking about the fundamentals, "safety", and making your partner feel comfortable and all that good stuff. Now it was the worst part. They had the men get in a circle and the ladies get in a circle.

"I see some of you have come together with your lover and such!" He started laughing hysterically. "Well that's too bad because in order for you to dance, you're going to have to do it with strangers you don't know!!" he kept laughing and laughing, more than he really should've been.

"Face your partner!" he said. I quickly got in a position where I could be with Emily. I didn't give a care in the world if I messed up in front of her lol. "Gentleman, place your right hand on her left shoulder.....blah blah blah." I had no rhythm whatsoever, but Emily was no queen either, so we just laughed it off. Until the instructor came. "Hahaha oh no no no no NO!" Everyone was watching us now. He adjusted where my arm should be, and played the music again. We swayed in the most AWKWARD dysfunctional positions possible, my knee hit her knee and as I would sway back, she would sway forward, it was absolutely brutal to watch and do.

Everyone just looked at us in silence. Complete silence. I could feel my forehead beginning to sweat. "Ugh this feels WEEEIIIRDDD." Emily blurted out. A couple of chuckles were heard in the background. The instructor walked away, "It's ok! It's ok! You guys will get the hang of it! Now everyone! it's time to switch partners!!"

Ok this is going to sound absolutely horrible, but I was hoping I WOULDN'T end up with anyone attractive. I would feel less embarrassed and guilty if I were to mess up with an average looking middle aged woman, than an attractive 20 year old. It's a psychological jerk kinda thing. Does that make sense? No? I know I'm pretty weird.

We all rotated, and a lady who looked to be around the age of 70 became my partner. "Ooooh hoooo hoooo hooo. I sure hope you were listening because I'm ready to get groovy!!" she said smiling. I smiled back weakly. The instructor played the music, I glanced over at Alex and Emily and saw that they were dancing perfectly fine. Old lady and I started "dancing." "Oh no no no!" she said. She started slapping my hand lightly. "Put your hand here and move with the beat of the music." she said. As she swayed back, I swayed back and almost lost my balance, messing up again.

I looked like this cat sorta lol.

She sighed, "It's ok it's ok, we'll get through this." she groaned, kind of loudly. I had a group of people watching us now. We tried it one last time. We had to do the move where you spin the lady around. I moved my arms out upward and tried to spin her, but did it at the wrong time, causing it to be misplaced. "Oh Lord!" She lost her balance and almost fell to her side, then caught her balance, than lost it again, than finally caught her balance, huffing and puffing. It looked like one of those clips off of America's Funniest Home videos of the old people running forward trying to catch their balance, then end up falling. I was moving back and forth in the most awkward swaying position, just tightly gripping her shoulder making sure she didn't fall. The instructor ran toward us as if it were a state champion race. "Are you guys ok??" "Yes yes yes, just trying to figure things out." the old lady puffed. I was sweating like crazy now. Felt like 100 degrees in the room. Everyone was watching again. "We were all beginners at one point." she said half-smiling. "Oh geez." I thought to myself.

"Time to switch partners now everyone!!" My worst fear was about to happen. I became partners with a girl who looked around my age. Attractive of course, blonde. Just a little taller than me around 5'11 or 6'0, she was wearing tall shoes. Stunning. The instructor added another move to the dance. It was a double spin type of thing, I forgot what it was called but I was dreading this.

"Alright and go!" He started the music. I payed attention and everything but it just got worst and worst...

FIRST try I tried to spin her around and my elbow hit her nose. "Haha ouch." she said softly. "Oh geez I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." I said. "It's fine, It's fine." she said. We got back to the basic beginning, we swayed back and forth, it went fine for like 10 seconds until I lost the beat, tensed up and accidentally kneed her around her thigh area. It got extremely awkward, we lost beat and just ended up standing there as my hand was still on her shoulder, both of us refusing to look at each other. "Keep dancing! Keep dancing! Don't stop!"

We tried again, without saying a word to each other, and then I, no lie, STEPPED on her foot. "Ahhh oh, ouch haha." she said, trying to be nice about it. She let go of my hand and wobbled over to the nearest chair. The music stopped. "Hey are you ok?" asked a boy running over to her, I'm guessing it was her boyfriend. He looked at me. "Don't worry bout it bud, we're all not pros." he grinned. Nice guy. The instructor didn't seem to notice though. "Ok switch partners!" "Well I dunno if I wanna be his partner.." I heard a lady mutter, who was supposed to be my next dance partner.

This was key for "Get the heck out of here."

I quickly walked fast over to the door. "Hey you're supposed to be my partner!" I heard the middle-aged woman yell over to me. I now immaturely SPRINTED out of the room, everyone watching me! "Hey where you going!? You'll never learn if you don't try!..." I didn't know where to go, it was raining outside and Alex had the keys to the car. I locked myself into a bathroom stall.

Hahahahahaha I couldn't believe this was happening. "This is elementary school stuff here." I thought to myself. Hiding in a bathroom. Really?

"Is he in here?" I heard two gentleman talking. I quickly hopped onto the toilet and  ducked my head so they wouldn't see my feet. "Nah guess not." they left. I got multiple text messages from Alex. "Hey where'd you go? Where'd you go?" I ignored them.

I waited in there for 5 minutes, then went into another room that had a pool table and made friends with some dudes. Alex and Emily constantly kept calling me so I finally came to them.

"Where were you?? Geez we were looking all over for you and calling!" they said. "Yeah yeah, I had a stomach ache." I said. "Well come on! The lessons are over and we can just dance up there now!" "Haha I'm not going back up there, did you see how embarrassing that was??"

They made me go anyways.

So yep. I spent the night as I described a few paragraphs above. In the corner, with a cup of punch in my hand, watching everyone have fun, as I pretended to have fun, even though I really wasn't. All the ladies I messed up with during the lessons were glancing at me, quickly looking away, and then glancing again.

I went on my phone. Facebook. First post that shows up, coincidentally, on her status says "Big trucks and country dancing <3." I exited the app immediately lol. And put my phone back in my pocket. And stood there. All night until we left.

The End.

Thanks for reading fellas, lady fellas. Huge respect to the men who know how to dance, seriously credit to you guys, I think it's pretty tough.

Cheyenne Fuller

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