I remember the first time a girl asked me to dance. A GIRL. ASKING ME. TO DANCE. It's usually the other way around ya know? Usually the guy asks the girl, especially here in Texas, they're all about respect, tradition, and all that Texas stuff. Honestly I dunno, but anyway.
It wasn't middle school, it wasn't high school, it was actually college. My first year of college 2014. Dallas Baptist University. It was around the middle of the year and they had a dance going on at the Town Home apartments.. Jonathon, Bill, Adam, Isaac, and all my main friends were all home. They all went home for the weekend. I hated it when they did that.
I'm one of those people who hates staying indoors when you know you have the opportunity to go out and do something. I knew it was a Texas dance thing, and ever since I moved down here I knew the time would come when this two-stepping dance thing would approach me. I was pretty bad. At dancing in general.
But hey, at the same time I put on my "YOLO" attitude and I went to the dance. Alone. No girl, not even a guy.
I arrived a little late on purpose, that way I wouldn't be the in the corner with the cup of punch in his hand watching everyone have fun, while he pretends to have fun even though he isn't.
I happened to see Lawrence there, a friend of mine in Art class. "Ugh thank God." Actually I had just a couple of other friends who were there too, but they were already dancing like they were pros, they had partners already. They were really good, I'll admit it. Or at least they were having so much fun, that it made them look good.
"Why aren't you out there busting moves man?" I asked. "Nah man I don't dance, I'm too stiff for this stuff." he laughed. He was a little taller than me, but had huge arms. Always lifting in the gym. "Yeah well same here, I've just never really learned." I made sure not to crack a Texas joke in front of him, because he was ALL ABOUT TEXAS. I was surprised he couldn't country dance or two-step, geez whatever it's called lol.
"Hey I'll be right back, I'm gonna get some more food, besides, that's the only reason I came anyway." he laughed. He left for his food, and I stood there. At the corner. With punch in my hand. Pretending to have fun.
A guy approached me. He was one of those dudes who always a bit too focused on getting the girls and their attention. They gave him their numbers too, hey but I wouldn't know, I'm assuming. What I do know is one time he got multiple numbers in the same day and made the mistake of texting all of them AT THE SAME TIME. Three of the gals happened to be in the room at the same time, so you know that didn't end to well. But anyways, off topic.
"Hey man why you just standing there all alone and stuff?" he said. "Oh nahhhh I'm here with Lawrence, he just went to go get some food." I said. "You should go and dance man, I've been talking and dancing with pretty girls all night!" he said with a grin on his face.
"That's great man. You should feel good." I said, half sarcastically. As I said that a EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE BRUNETTE girl approached us. Like dude, she was pretty. "Well hi there!" said he said. "Hi!" she said. They sparked a small-talk convo. I'm assuming they knew each other by the way they were talking. "How's your night been going?" he asked. He kept forcing conversation with her, until she made his mouth drop.
She looked at me, "Well hey I was just wondering if you wanted to come dance with me." she said smiling. Haha wuuutttt. I felt like a 7th grader in a middle school drama movie. "Oh were ya wondering now?" I grinned like an idiot, but my heart was racing simply because I was going to look like an idiot out there. "Well as much as I'd love to, I'd rather not embarrass ourselves out there, or you at least." I said, forcing a fake laugh.. "Aww that's too bad...well I can teach you!!" she said smiling. I couldn't believe this was happening.
"Trust me I would absolutely love to...but yeahhhh...." I said, trying to sound "slick." though. "Well gee, thanks, I guess I'll see you around, have a nice night!" We exchanged names. "Well hey I'll dance with you!" exclaimed the guy. "Haha well sure!" she said. He quickly looked back at me and winked. "Catch ya later man!" Definitely felt like a movie scene. "I hope he trips and falls or something." I thought at the moment. I know I'm really mean.
And of course there were some guys who knew me, who suddenly came over, surrounded at the scene. "Daaaaang boy, you gonna get let that thang slip away from you???? Daaaaaang boy, she lookin fiiinnneeee boy!" they kept exclaiming. "I don't know how to dance guys." I said laughing. They started laughing too. "Boy you messed up boy. boy you messed up boy." they kept repeating. I left. I had no time for this. My fault, insecurity hit me hard that day.
A week later.
My friends Alex and Emily invited me over to a dance party in Dallas. Apparently it was a good price. "I'm not paying money to look like a fool, sorry guys." I said grinning. "I'll pay for you! Just geez! Come on!"exclaimed Alex. "Uhhh sure. I guess I'm not doing anything." I said. It never hurt to learn something new right?
We arrived and immediately I was disappointed. They told me it was a party, not a two-steppng dance class!! "Uhh yeah on second thought guys, I think I'll wait in the car." I said. "Don't be silly! The class is an hour long, and after that it's freestyle!" exclaimed Emily. "Besides we're paying for you remember? So you better not bail kid." said Alex laughing.
Alex was in a good mood because she got to see her friend and be his dance partner. Emily went with some other dude she knew. Greeeeaaaatttt I gotta be with a stranger.
"Ok everybody! We're all gonna get started here!" said the instructor. It was both a man and a lady. "Get in a large circle everyone!!" exclaimed the man with a huge high-pitched southern accent. "I knew this was going to happen at some point in my life when I moved down here." I thought to myself. I pictured it ever since.
I remember it as it were yesterday. They spent 5 minutes talking about the fundamentals, "safety", and making your partner feel comfortable and all that good stuff. Now it was the worst part. They had the men get in a circle and the ladies get in a circle.
"I see some of you have come together with your lover and such!" He started laughing hysterically. "Well that's too bad because in order for you to dance, you're going to have to do it with strangers you don't know!!" he kept laughing and laughing, more than he really should've been.
"Face your partner!" he said. I quickly got in a position where I could be with Emily. I didn't give a care in the world if I messed up in front of her lol. "Gentleman, place your right hand on her left shoulder.....blah blah blah." I had no rhythm whatsoever, but Emily was no queen either, so we just laughed it off. Until the instructor came. "Hahaha oh no no no no NO!" Everyone was watching us now. He adjusted where my arm should be, and played the music again. We swayed in the most AWKWARD dysfunctional positions possible, my knee hit her knee and as I would sway back, she would sway forward, it was absolutely brutal to watch and do.
Everyone just looked at us in silence. Complete silence. I could feel my forehead beginning to sweat. "Ugh this feels WEEEIIIRDDD." Emily blurted out. A couple of chuckles were heard in the background. The instructor walked away, "It's ok! It's ok! You guys will get the hang of it! Now everyone! it's time to switch partners!!"
Ok this is going to sound absolutely horrible, but I was hoping I WOULDN'T end up with anyone attractive. I would feel less embarrassed and guilty if I were to mess up with an average looking middle aged woman, than an attractive 20 year old. It's a psychological jerk kinda thing. Does that make sense? No? I know I'm pretty weird.
We all rotated, and a lady who looked to be around the age of 70 became my partner. "Ooooh hoooo hoooo hooo. I sure hope you were listening because I'm ready to get groovy!!" she said smiling. I smiled back weakly. The instructor played the music, I glanced over at Alex and Emily and saw that they were dancing perfectly fine. Old lady and I started "dancing." "Oh no no no!" she said. She started slapping my hand lightly. "Put your hand here and move with the beat of the music." she said. As she swayed back, I swayed back and almost lost my balance, messing up again.
 |
| I looked like this cat sorta lol. |
She sighed, "It's ok it's ok, we'll get through this." she groaned, kind of loudly. I had a group of people watching us now. We tried it one last time. We had to do the move where you spin the lady around. I moved my arms out upward and tried to spin her, but did it at the wrong time, causing it to be misplaced. "Oh Lord!" She lost her balance and almost fell to her side, then caught her balance, than lost it again, than finally caught her balance, huffing and puffing. It looked like one of those clips off of America's Funniest Home videos of the old people running forward trying to catch their balance, then end up falling. I was moving back and forth in the most awkward swaying position, just tightly gripping her shoulder making sure she didn't fall. The instructor ran toward us as if it were a state champion race. "Are you guys ok??" "Yes yes yes, just trying to figure things out." the old lady puffed. I was sweating like crazy now. Felt like 100 degrees in the room. Everyone was watching again. "We were all beginners at one point." she said half-smiling. "Oh geez." I thought to myself.
"Time to switch partners now everyone!!" My worst fear was about to happen. I became partners with a girl who looked around my age. Attractive of course, blonde. Just a little taller than me around 5'11 or 6'0, she was wearing tall shoes. Stunning. The instructor added another move to the dance. It was a double spin type of thing, I forgot what it was called but I was dreading this.
"Alright and go!" He started the music. I payed attention and everything but it just got worst and worst...
FIRST try I tried to spin her around and my elbow hit her nose. "Haha ouch." she said softly. "Oh geez I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." I said. "It's fine, It's fine." she said. We got back to the basic beginning, we swayed back and forth, it went fine for like 10 seconds until I lost the beat, tensed up and accidentally kneed her around her thigh area. It got extremely awkward, we lost beat and just ended up standing there as my hand was still on her shoulder, both of us refusing to look at each other. "Keep dancing! Keep dancing! Don't stop!"
We tried again, without saying a word to each other, and then I, no lie, STEPPED on her foot. "Ahhh oh, ouch haha." she said, trying to be nice about it. She let go of my hand and wobbled over to the nearest chair. The music stopped. "Hey are you ok?" asked a boy running over to her, I'm guessing it was her boyfriend. He looked at me. "Don't worry bout it bud, we're all not pros." he grinned. Nice guy. The instructor didn't seem to notice though. "Ok switch partners!" "Well I dunno if I wanna be his partner.." I heard a lady mutter, who was supposed to be my next dance partner.
This was key for "Get the heck out of here."
I quickly walked fast over to the door. "Hey you're supposed to be my partner!" I heard the middle-aged woman yell over to me. I now immaturely SPRINTED out of the room, everyone watching me! "Hey where you going!? You'll never learn if you don't try!..." I didn't know where to go, it was raining outside and Alex had the keys to the car. I locked myself into a bathroom stall.
Hahahahahaha I couldn't believe this was happening. "This is elementary school stuff here." I thought to myself. Hiding in a bathroom. Really?
"Is he in here?" I heard two gentleman talking. I quickly hopped onto the toilet and ducked my head so they wouldn't see my feet. "Nah guess not." they left. I got multiple text messages from Alex. "Hey where'd you go? Where'd you go?" I ignored them.
I waited in there for 5 minutes, then went into another room that had a pool table and made friends with some dudes. Alex and Emily constantly kept calling me so I finally came to them.
"Where were you?? Geez we were looking all over for you and calling!" they said. "Yeah yeah, I had a stomach ache." I said. "Well come on! The lessons are over and we can just dance up there now!" "Haha I'm not going back up there, did you see how embarrassing that was??"
They made me go anyways.
So yep. I spent the night as I described a few paragraphs above. In the corner, with a cup of punch in my hand, watching everyone have fun, as I pretended to have fun, even though I really wasn't. All the ladies I messed up with during the lessons were glancing at me, quickly looking away, and then glancing again.
I went on my phone. Facebook. First post that shows up, coincidentally, on her status says "Big trucks and country dancing <3." I exited the app immediately lol. And put my phone back in my pocket. And stood there. All night until we left.
The End.
Thanks for reading fellas, lady fellas. Huge respect to the men who know how to dance, seriously credit to you guys, I think it's pretty tough.
Cheyenne Fuller
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