An Awkward Life

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Awkward And Embarrassing Texas Country Dance Class

This experience happened almost 2 years ago, so it's now acceptable for me to share it without feeling weird haha.

I remember the first time a girl asked me to dance. A GIRL. ASKING ME. TO DANCE. It's usually the other way around ya know? Usually the guy asks the girl, especially here in Texas, they're all about respect, tradition, and all that Texas stuff. Honestly I dunno, but anyway.

It wasn't middle school, it wasn't high school, it was actually college. My first year of college 2014. Dallas Baptist University. It was around the middle of the year and they had a dance going on at the Town Home apartments.. Jonathon, Bill, Adam, Isaac, and all my main friends were all home. They all went home for the weekend. I hated it when they did that.

I'm one of those people who hates staying indoors when you know you have the opportunity to go out and do something. I knew it was a Texas dance thing, and ever since I moved down here I knew the time would come when this two-stepping dance thing would approach me. I was pretty bad. At dancing in general.

But hey, at the same time I put on my "YOLO" attitude and I went to the dance. Alone. No girl, not even a guy.

I arrived a little late on purpose, that way I wouldn't be the in the corner with the cup of punch in his hand watching everyone have fun, while he pretends to have fun even though he isn't.

I happened to see Lawrence there, a friend of mine in Art class. "Ugh thank God." Actually I had just a couple of other friends who were there too, but they were already dancing like they were pros, they had partners already. They were really good, I'll admit it. Or at least they were having so much fun, that it made them look good.

"Why aren't you out there busting moves man?" I asked. "Nah man I don't dance, I'm too stiff for this stuff." he laughed. He was a little taller than me, but had huge arms. Always lifting in the gym. "Yeah well same here, I've just never really learned." I made sure not to crack a Texas joke in front of him, because he was ALL ABOUT TEXAS. I was surprised he couldn't country dance or two-step, geez whatever it's called lol.

"Hey I'll be right back, I'm gonna get some more food, besides, that's the only reason I came anyway." he laughed. He left for his food, and I stood there. At the corner. With punch in my hand. Pretending to have fun.

A guy approached me. He was one of those dudes who always a bit too focused on getting the girls and their attention. They gave him their numbers too, hey but I wouldn't know, I'm assuming. What I do know is one time he got multiple numbers in the same day and made the mistake of texting all of them AT THE SAME TIME. Three of the gals happened to be in the room at the same time, so you know that didn't end to well. But anyways, off topic.

"Hey man why you just standing there all alone and stuff?" he said. "Oh nahhhh I'm here with Lawrence, he just went to go get some food." I said. "You should go and dance man, I've been talking and dancing with pretty girls all night!" he said with a grin on his face.

"That's great man. You should feel good." I said, half sarcastically. As I said that a EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE BRUNETTE girl approached us. Like dude, she was pretty. "Well hi there!" said he said. "Hi!" she said. They sparked a small-talk convo. I'm assuming they knew each other by the way they were talking. "How's your night been going?" he asked. He kept forcing conversation with her, until she made his mouth drop.

She looked at me, "Well hey I was just wondering if you wanted to come dance with me." she said smiling. Haha wuuutttt. I felt like a 7th grader in a middle school drama movie. "Oh were ya wondering now?" I grinned like an idiot, but my heart was racing simply because I was going to look like an idiot out there. "Well as much as I'd love to, I'd rather not embarrass ourselves out there, or you at least." I said, forcing a fake laugh.. "Aww that's too bad...well I can teach you!!" she said smiling. I couldn't believe this was happening.

"Trust me I would absolutely love to...but yeahhhh...." I said, trying to sound "slick." though. "Well gee, thanks, I guess I'll see you around, have a nice night!" We exchanged names. "Well hey I'll dance with you!" exclaimed the guy. "Haha well sure!" she said. He quickly looked back at me and winked. "Catch ya later man!" Definitely felt like a movie scene. "I hope he trips and falls or something." I thought at the moment. I know I'm really mean.

And of course there were some guys who knew me, who suddenly came over, surrounded at the scene. "Daaaaang boy, you gonna get let that thang slip away from you???? Daaaaaang boy, she lookin fiiinnneeee boy!" they kept exclaiming. "I don't know how to dance guys." I said laughing. They started laughing too. "Boy you messed up boy. boy you messed up boy." they kept repeating. I left. I had no time for this. My fault, insecurity hit me hard that day.

A week later.

My friends Alex and Emily invited me over to a dance party in Dallas. Apparently it was a good price. "I'm not paying money to look like a fool, sorry guys." I said grinning. "I'll pay for you! Just geez! Come on!"exclaimed Alex. "Uhhh sure. I guess I'm not doing anything." I said. It never hurt to learn something new right?

We arrived and immediately I was disappointed. They told me it was a party, not a two-steppng dance class!! "Uhh yeah on second thought guys, I think I'll wait in the car." I said. "Don't be silly! The class is an hour long, and after that it's freestyle!" exclaimed Emily. "Besides we're paying for you remember? So you better not bail kid." said Alex laughing.

Alex was in a good mood because she got to see her friend and be his dance partner. Emily went with some other dude she knew. Greeeeaaaatttt I gotta be with a stranger.

"Ok everybody! We're all gonna get started here!" said the instructor. It was both a man and a lady. "Get in a large circle everyone!!" exclaimed the man with a huge high-pitched southern accent. "I knew this was going to happen at some point in my life when I moved down here." I thought to myself. I pictured it ever since.

I remember it as it were yesterday. They spent 5 minutes talking about the fundamentals, "safety", and making your partner feel comfortable and all that good stuff. Now it was the worst part. They had the men get in a circle and the ladies get in a circle.

"I see some of you have come together with your lover and such!" He started laughing hysterically. "Well that's too bad because in order for you to dance, you're going to have to do it with strangers you don't know!!" he kept laughing and laughing, more than he really should've been.

"Face your partner!" he said. I quickly got in a position where I could be with Emily. I didn't give a care in the world if I messed up in front of her lol. "Gentleman, place your right hand on her left shoulder.....blah blah blah." I had no rhythm whatsoever, but Emily was no queen either, so we just laughed it off. Until the instructor came. "Hahaha oh no no no no NO!" Everyone was watching us now. He adjusted where my arm should be, and played the music again. We swayed in the most AWKWARD dysfunctional positions possible, my knee hit her knee and as I would sway back, she would sway forward, it was absolutely brutal to watch and do.

Everyone just looked at us in silence. Complete silence. I could feel my forehead beginning to sweat. "Ugh this feels WEEEIIIRDDD." Emily blurted out. A couple of chuckles were heard in the background. The instructor walked away, "It's ok! It's ok! You guys will get the hang of it! Now everyone! it's time to switch partners!!"

Ok this is going to sound absolutely horrible, but I was hoping I WOULDN'T end up with anyone attractive. I would feel less embarrassed and guilty if I were to mess up with an average looking middle aged woman, than an attractive 20 year old. It's a psychological jerk kinda thing. Does that make sense? No? I know I'm pretty weird.

We all rotated, and a lady who looked to be around the age of 70 became my partner. "Ooooh hoooo hoooo hooo. I sure hope you were listening because I'm ready to get groovy!!" she said smiling. I smiled back weakly. The instructor played the music, I glanced over at Alex and Emily and saw that they were dancing perfectly fine. Old lady and I started "dancing." "Oh no no no!" she said. She started slapping my hand lightly. "Put your hand here and move with the beat of the music." she said. As she swayed back, I swayed back and almost lost my balance, messing up again.

I looked like this cat sorta lol.

She sighed, "It's ok it's ok, we'll get through this." she groaned, kind of loudly. I had a group of people watching us now. We tried it one last time. We had to do the move where you spin the lady around. I moved my arms out upward and tried to spin her, but did it at the wrong time, causing it to be misplaced. "Oh Lord!" She lost her balance and almost fell to her side, then caught her balance, than lost it again, than finally caught her balance, huffing and puffing. It looked like one of those clips off of America's Funniest Home videos of the old people running forward trying to catch their balance, then end up falling. I was moving back and forth in the most awkward swaying position, just tightly gripping her shoulder making sure she didn't fall. The instructor ran toward us as if it were a state champion race. "Are you guys ok??" "Yes yes yes, just trying to figure things out." the old lady puffed. I was sweating like crazy now. Felt like 100 degrees in the room. Everyone was watching again. "We were all beginners at one point." she said half-smiling. "Oh geez." I thought to myself.

"Time to switch partners now everyone!!" My worst fear was about to happen. I became partners with a girl who looked around my age. Attractive of course, blonde. Just a little taller than me around 5'11 or 6'0, she was wearing tall shoes. Stunning. The instructor added another move to the dance. It was a double spin type of thing, I forgot what it was called but I was dreading this.

"Alright and go!" He started the music. I payed attention and everything but it just got worst and worst...

FIRST try I tried to spin her around and my elbow hit her nose. "Haha ouch." she said softly. "Oh geez I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." I said. "It's fine, It's fine." she said. We got back to the basic beginning, we swayed back and forth, it went fine for like 10 seconds until I lost the beat, tensed up and accidentally kneed her around her thigh area. It got extremely awkward, we lost beat and just ended up standing there as my hand was still on her shoulder, both of us refusing to look at each other. "Keep dancing! Keep dancing! Don't stop!"

We tried again, without saying a word to each other, and then I, no lie, STEPPED on her foot. "Ahhh oh, ouch haha." she said, trying to be nice about it. She let go of my hand and wobbled over to the nearest chair. The music stopped. "Hey are you ok?" asked a boy running over to her, I'm guessing it was her boyfriend. He looked at me. "Don't worry bout it bud, we're all not pros." he grinned. Nice guy. The instructor didn't seem to notice though. "Ok switch partners!" "Well I dunno if I wanna be his partner.." I heard a lady mutter, who was supposed to be my next dance partner.

This was key for "Get the heck out of here."

I quickly walked fast over to the door. "Hey you're supposed to be my partner!" I heard the middle-aged woman yell over to me. I now immaturely SPRINTED out of the room, everyone watching me! "Hey where you going!? You'll never learn if you don't try!..." I didn't know where to go, it was raining outside and Alex had the keys to the car. I locked myself into a bathroom stall.

Hahahahahaha I couldn't believe this was happening. "This is elementary school stuff here." I thought to myself. Hiding in a bathroom. Really?

"Is he in here?" I heard two gentleman talking. I quickly hopped onto the toilet and ducked my head so they wouldn't see my feet. "Nah guess not." they left. I got multiple text messages from Alex. "Hey where'd you go? Where'd you go?" I ignored them.

I waited in there for 5 minutes, then went into another room that had a pool table and made friends with some dudes. Alex and Emily constantly kept calling me so I finally came to them.

"Where were you?? Geez we were looking all over for you and calling!" they said. "Yeah yeah, I had a stomach ache." I said. "Well come on! The lessons are over and we can just dance up there now!" "Haha I'm not going back up there, did you see how embarrassing that was??"

They made me go anyways.

So yep. I spent the night as I described a few paragraphs above. In the corner, with a cup of punch in my hand, watching everyone have fun, as I pretended to have fun, even though I really wasn't. All the ladies I messed up with during the lessons were glancing at me, quickly looking away, and then glancing again.

I went on my phone. Facebook. First post that shows up, coincidentally, on her status says "Big trucks and country dancing <3." I exited the app immediately lol. And put my phone back in my pocket. And stood there. All night until we left.

The End.

Thanks for reading fellas, lady fellas. Huge respect to the men who know how to dance, seriously credit to you guys, I think it's pretty tough.

Cheyenne Fuller

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Sunday, April 10, 2016

Dating In Elementary School

I never really got into girls until I reached the 7th grade, which still today, I believe 13 years old is the "appropriate" age for some specific "dating" or "more than friends" activities or whatever, of course depending on the specifics of what you're actually doing...

But geeeezzzz when I was 9, 10, 11, years old I was totally content on just laughing and having fun. I was never afraid to approach or talk to girls or whatever back in elementary school because I was never attracted to them! You just thought of them as another friend and nothing more. I simply wasn't interested in any of that, which I believe is completely more than normal.

I wouldn't say the "generation is changing" or whatever and make it seem like we need to make a stand and unite or whatever, but holy smokes where are some of the parents nowadays?

Every day I make an effort to go to the local community center and play basketball, and a week ago as I came in and approached the gym, I saw two kids, a girl and a boy, sitting on the bench. The girl was sitting on the boy's lap and he had his arm around her as he caressed her hair and kept whispering in her ear. He had a Monster labeled hat on backwards and those way-too-long for him blue jean shorts on. One of those kids haha.

"Wooooooowwww ok." I muttered. I ignored it, threw on my headphones and starting shooting some hoops. But I couldn't believe my eyes when they started making out. I kid you not. No lie. They didn't even care that I was right there.

As I took my headphones off to eavesdrop on them, his exact words to this girl:

"Damn baby girl, you just don't understand how much you mean to me, I just don't know where I'd be without you." he said, giving her the most corniest look I've ever seen.

"Damn baby girl?!" "I don't know where I'd be without you?!" Kid you're not even in middle school yet! What the heck!? No one that young NEEDS a "relationship" and in fact no one that young should WANT a relationship.

So the first thing I thought is, "Yep this is going on my blog."

"Hey how old are you guys?" I said over at them, not giving one care in the world. "I'm 11." answered the boy. "Im 10 and why you asking?" asked the girl. They were both surprisingly polite with smiles though. I continued playing ball without an answer back.

Finally after a couple of minutes, the guy at the front desk came into the gym. "Ok no, not at all. You guys can't be doing that in here. Are you serious? Please leave, no tolerance for that here." he said.

I just don't get it! Things I liked to do when I was 11 years old was play sports, eat food, watch television, video games, water fights, mess with my siblings, and just come up with creative ideas. But making out with a girl? Taking her to the movies? BUYING her popcorn? HECK NO. Nope. I mean that's normal right?

The most funniest part about seeing a elementary school kid "dating" someone is when you get a look at their social media profile. Some kid back in Montana always asked to play basketball with me, and kinda looked up to me. He ended up finding my instagram account and following me a couple of weeks later, so I followed him back.

His account was just picture after picture of his "girlfriend" and captions with some overly-corny but yet caring things ever that just made me smile looking at it. Here's an example of one of his:

#sexysunday. But what is so sexy about being 10 years old? Someone please explain.

What is even worse is that social media such as Instagram(the main one) allows these kids to follow mutual people they don't even know and add them and talk to them. They then "fall in love" with some stranger after a freakin 10 minutes of talking and announce that they are in love and start posting their way-to-close-up selfie of their significant other. This happens more than you people think and it's a wonder to why the adults don't even know about this.

So anyway, SOME of these little boys have no mercy and are able to make out with these easily persuaded little girls being like 10 years old. And don't get this post wrong, because I'm assuming most parents still know how to actually parent their kids, but I'm just seeing more and more of this as time progresses in my life.

So what happens is that these elementary kids see all these things on social media/television/online and their definition of dating is now considered accurate to what they see, which is sexual content/making out and things like that and they don't consider or know that their age is....I dunno? Applicable to it?

The way I saw it, is that in Elementary School and Middle School you were never actually "dating." You just liked each other, even if that meant kissing every once in awhile or holding hands. But the ACTUAL dating part doesn't start until after puberty. Like age 14 or 15. When you're more mature. Making the next step, making out, yeah yeah yeah, all that stuff. When you're actually physically and mentally starting to grow and expand your knowledge in such things. There is no rule about this, but isn't that usually how it works? Isn't that fair?

Kids have guts nowadays is all I have to say. Because even if I did have an Iphone or a smartphone back when I was 10 years old and had access to all the junk that everyone has access to now, I STILL wouldn't even have the guts to HOLD a girl's hand. Half these elementary kids are smoother than ME!

The first time I ever kissed a girl I was 12 years old and it felt awesome. We were holding hands, it was the last day of school, time for summer. We were about to part ways, my friends were waiting for me. "Ok well bye" I said. "Bye." she said back. "No no no, you'll regret ending it like this you coward. Make the move." I thought to myself. "Wait, is it ok if I kiss you?" I asked walking towards her again. I thought I was going to have a heart attack."It's about time you asked." she said. It lasted like two seconds. "Haha that was cool." I said with an awkward grin. "Yeah." she said. Then we stood there in silence. CRINGE.

I still believe moments like that are more special than what kids are experiencing now. Now elementary kids are dating for like a week and "breaking up" and "getting back together" and having their hearts "torn apart." Acting like the world is coming to an end. Their faces glued to their phones, some don't even know what childhood is because they're too engrossed in having the cool clothes, trying to impress others, and having "relationships" in my opinion ruining true happiness and the fun of childhood and making it all a competition at way too early of a stage, save that crap for high school. This is just pathetic, they don't know what they want yet.

"I broke up with him, it just wasn't working out. I need some space." says some elementary school girl. LOL ARE YOU KIDDING ME? SOME SPACE!?

I'm sorry but every time I hear about some little kids "breaking up" I think it's a little funny, and I know that is mean because even though they're so young, they still have feelings.

I personally feel that liking someone in elementary school is completely normal and fine, but dating? Like what is the point? There is absolutely no point. You're going to see this person in school every day, so why do you need a phone? Or their number? Or need to take them out on a movie? Some elementary kids go on movie dates, like they'll literally buy the popcorn and drink for the girl. Pshhhh heck no, I'd never do that if I were 10 years old, get your own popcorn, this is my money.

My point is that, it's ok to like someone no matter what age, but now these kids have been introduced to the media they see on their devices, and now it has been pressed into their brains that it is a huge deal to kiss a girl, or take her out, or always be texting her, when it is not a huge deal at all. Especially at their age.

The only thing it will lead to is what I like to call "fake heartbreak", and kids "thinking their sad." I say this because being a kid is just supposed to be learning in school, laughing, and having fun. And it is very foolish to be 10 years old and sad because a girl "broke up" with you. They never knew if they actually wanted them in the first place, because they're still at the age where they don't know what their future holds and what they're actual life plan is. The feelings were never emotionally and mentally stable in the first place due to lack of development in these silly brains of these children.

School dances and attractions usually start in middle school(12 &13 years old), that's the way I thought it always was. When the first kisses start happening and the texting starts happening. And realistically, I thought actual physical contact started at age 14 or 15 after puberty and that this would be a necessary age to start actually taking dating seriously and knowing if you actually like the way this person makes you feel, but it's me talking here, I don't know much.

I know, I know this isn't a big deal people. But what are your thoughts on little 11 year olds making out? Is that normal? Huh Dad? Huh Mom? Do you like that your kid is making out with another kid? Let me know parents. Let me know what age you'd let your kids start "dating" haha. Let me know what you think about this post and enjoy this picture of me back in elementary school.

Ok bye now, rant over.

Cheyenne Fuller

https://www.instagram.com/kingofawkward23/
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Sunday, February 21, 2016

10 Extremely Catchy Songs You've Never Heard

I've been on a tear lately. I haven't been going out or anything, I've been staying home and discovering so many music artists and being the annoying hipster who boasts to others about how I heard it first, or I know more artists than them. Lol sorry.

These songs will have you playing them on repeat and dancing like crazy!

Ok in all seriousness though, everyone has different tastes, etc. These feature genres ranging from rock to experimental, so tell me what you think.

Anyway here are some songs I doubt you all have heard, but thanks to yours truly Cheyenne Fuller....

1. De Lux - Oh Man The Future

This band De Lux has the catchiest music! I found this song last year, it never fails to make me dance, plus I love the guys moves on this song hahaha

2. Body Language - Really Love

It wouldn't let me load the music video for some reason. Anyway, this song is sooooo catchy, and it's not even as popular as it should be. I found it a couple months back.

3. My Chemical Romance - Vampire Money

Dude. This has to be the catchiest one on this list. My Chemical Romance is a very known band, but this song is overshadowed by their more popular ones. Their most underrated song no doubt, and when the guitar solo hits I go absolutely insane. I once listened to this song 15 times in a row while at work, no joke.

4. Powers - Hot

This song should have over a million views, it barely has 20,000. I already know all of you will love this one. I absolutely love this artist. This song is gold.

5. Miami Horror - Out Of Sight

I bet NONE of you can listen to this whole song without dancing, tapping your feet, or any movement. I catch myself dancing to this all the time. Can you believe this only has 2,000 views!? I'm so awesome for finding this!

6. Coleman Hell - Thumbalina

Just like "Vampire Money" I ended up listening to this song multiple times in a row when I first found it last year. Coleman Hell has a great voice. It's one of those songs that I can't explain why I like it. It's catchy and lovely.

7. The Shoes - Time To Dance

This is the song that made me want to write this blog post in the first. The video also makes it all the better because it has Jake Gyllenhaal. 1:40 when the actual song starts gets me bouncing in my seat hahaha. It makes me want to exercise. This song does have 5,000,000 views though, but nonetheless I had to post it.

8. The Maine - Love And Drugs

Another underrated rock song. Once the chorus hits I can't help but sing along.

Last night I did things
My mother told me not to with the people I shouldn't see,
In the places that I should not go
And it felt just like, and it felt just like,
And it felt just like, and it felt just like,
And it felt just like, and it felt just like
It felt just like love and drugs.

Absolutely fantastic song.

9. MO- Kamikaze

Ok I lied, of all the songs, this one is probably one you may have heard. It came out 4 months ago and has 11,000,000 views. My friends praise me for showing it to them, one time we were coming home from a good night and had it on repeat ALL NIGHT. I can't stop listening to it, it never gets old. I even came up with my own stupid dance I do with it. MO became popular because of her collaborations with Major Lazer, a popular artist who isn't really my cup of tea, but nonetheless MO's music is really good. And this is by far my fave song from her along with "Glass" and "Waste Of Time."

10. RAC - 405

This song is my "Go on a drive and just think about life" song. It makes me happy and sad at the same time. Nonetheless a very catchy one. RAC is one of my favorite music artists FYI.

The GPS will tell us we've arrived, but all I want to do today is drive, drive, drive."

It's ok I understand, when you're playing these songs with your friends, you're not gonna be all like "Oh yeah dawg, I got this from Cheyenne's Fuller blog, that guy is a genius!!"(;

Anyway, you're welcome.

Thanks for reading and listening

Cheyenne Fuller

https://www.instagram.com/kingofawkward23/
https://twitter.com/kingofawkward23

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Sunday, January 24, 2016

Having Friends Who Are Much More Attractive Than You

Wow this post is gonna be dumb. There is always someone more attractive than you, but ehhhh who cares, I like to write and post junk that make me look stupid anyway.

Alright Alright Alright how do I say this? Let's be straight forward here. I'm not gay, but I'm not gonna lie, I have some pretty darn attractive friends hahaha and trust me they know it too.

C'maaan boys you know what I mean, we all have those bros who take a damn 45 minutes to blow dry and comb their hair and another 5 minutes just gazing into the mirror touching up their hair with their finger tips. I'm serious.

And my other friends(I guess you could say who aren't as attractive) and I will always joke around and make fun of them for taking longer than a girl to get ready to go out. Sometimes they'll take that long and we won't even be going out!

It was all fun and games until the tables turned on me one time and had me just wondering and wondering..

Ok I'm a firm believer that looks and attractiveness can have a huge factor on where you are from, location, etc. Noooooo I'm not saying that people from Montana(where I'm from) are ugly, I'm just saying that it SEEMS as if Texas has wayyyyyy more attractive people. Attractive people everywhere, many more than Montana for sure. Men and Women. Yeah yeah it's an opinion, but an opinion that can easily be seen as a fact.

Anyway back in high school I never really worried about how attractive I was. It was always 50/50 with girls I had crushes on. They either liked me or didn't like me. They either thought I was attractive or not attractive. Everyone has different preferences right? Lol I had my fair share of action that make me realize and not worry about how "attractive I am."

It's only when you realize your OWN FRIENDS or people around you are competition, that you start worrying about your looks and complexion and if you're "good enough." You start comparing yourself to your peers. But luckily my best friends and I were too good of friends to do that and sometimes took it as a light joke.

I remember one time back in middle school my best friends Kollin, Rafael, and I went around asking girls to rate us on our looks. We usually got around the same rate, until one time a cute girl told me I was a 10 and I just couldn't stop smiling, it made me so happy. It made me happy that my friends and I were around the "same attractiveness" if that makes any sense? Maybe not? C'maaaan you know what I'm talking about.

You never had to worry about your friends being too attractive, or sometimes even too unattractive as well. With us we were around the same level

Don't play dumb. Be real. You KNOW if someone is more attractive then you. Use your eyes lol.

Ok ok, what I'm trying to say is that back in High School and Montana I never had to worry about my friends(or even people I didn't like) stealing a girl from me or making a girl like them instead of me. I had no "competition" because there was less people there compared to Texas. Trust me, there were guys in my class who were more attractive than me, but they weren't "over the top, crazy attractive." You know what I mean? If a girl liked me, it was because she liked me and was attracted. If she didn't like me, it was simply because she didn't like me, or wasn't attracted to me and I was absolutely fine with that. I got the success by approaching first and just making the move before the other guys.

Until I moved to Texas.

Competition everywhere! Pretty girls everywhere! Pretty boy + Pretty girl = Pretty couple. If you're attractive you deserve to be with someone attractive correct!? Just plenty to choose from! Never ending beauty.

I'm not saying my high school friends weren't attractive, haha of course they were. But I'm speaking real, REAL, STRAIGHT UP talk here. They simply weren't as attractive as some of the friends I made here in the south. I'm serious. But I just have to be honest. Texas is a wide variety, and Montana is well....country with not many people.

I just don't know how to write and explain this post without looking like a jerk, GAHHHHH this is so hard!

Ok, real stuff here. It's wrong to do this, but do it with me anyways. Look yourself in the mirror. Now think of 5 friends of yours. Now rate each of you on a scale 1-10, I know so immature and wrong right? You're correct.

What I'm saying here, is that I have a variety of friends. Friends that are attractive and friends that may, I dunno, need some work perhaps? Lol, I dunno!

They were either more or less attractive than me, but it wasn't a huge difference. One particular high school friend of mine, Brauk, who was a grade below me, was always turning ladies heads. Good looking guy, he knew it too, but never boasted. In fact he would introduce me and take me under his wing sometimes. See this is the kind of friends you want hahaha.

Ok here's an example so I don't sound like an idiot jerk who doesn't know what he's talking about. Back in high school I was more confident with girls and people because I wasn't around a guy who was wayyyyy more attractive then me. I was confident in my looks. And if I happened to be around a guy much better looking than me(like Brauk) it was because I simply got along with him and was a good guy.

Now it's a different story.

I have a friend named Jay(he's ok with me writing this, I asked permission). But this kid, is the most SELF ABSORBED PRETTY BOY you'll ever meet. He's attractive don't get me wrong, and he KNOWS he's attractive. He'll let you know he's attractive too lol. That's how good looking he is, he doesn't even care I'm writing this. He's the guy who'll be on snapchat daily taking tons of selfies and taking 30 minutes to choose the right Instagram filter. "Yoooo you should tell the girls who read your blog and follow you on IG to hit me up yoooo." he would tell me.

The difference between him and my other attractive friends here in Texas is that my other friends are surprisingly pretty insecure even though they're attractive! Or perhaps they're just living life and not worrying about it, but yet they don't boast or realize the fact that they were born good looking. But hey, that's why I'm friends with them in the first place, not looks, but just because of who they are and we get along well.

Ok sorry, off topic.

You want to know something funny? The first time I met Jay was at the library my second year of college. There was this extremely cute girl sitting alone. "Ok ok ok, just talk to her. You have nothing to lose." I was literally having a 3 minute debate with myself about whether if I should talk to her or not lol. Texas definitely made me more insecure, not gonna lie. Too many good looking guys who will beat me to the "prize" lol.

Right as I suck it up and stand up to talk to her, she gets up and walks towards JAY. She APPROACHED and INTRODUCED herself to Jay, who was a couple tables away from her. My jaw just dropped opened for a good minute. I saw and heard the whole thing. "Yeah well maybe we'll see each other around sometime Jay" she said smiling. "Yeah yeah sure thing, hey you got an Instagram?" he asked. "Yeah! But here, I'll give you my number too." she said smiling.

My heart just dropped at that. I just stood there dumbfounded. How rare is it that you see a HOT white chick, go up to an attractive Indian dude? Dude I dunno, I'm asking you guys hahaha.

She left and I just stood there, I think my mouth was still open. Obviously he saw me, so Jay stood up and talked to me, "Yooooo you see that bro? Hell yeah!" We became friends after a while of chitchat. He was a cocky boy, but I like the guy haha.

We would hangout every once in a while. Mall, around the college, just simple stuff. Jay was such a flirt too and always THRIVED on looking good. Every. Single. Damn. Day. His motive was ALWAYS picking up girls. That's all he ever wanted to do. "Yooooo boy give me a shoutout on your IG, I want cute chicks to follow me yoooo." Everywhere we'd go he would get cute girls, and I would just watch from the side. And when I would try, which was at very rare times, it would be so awkward. I'll explain on another blog post I'm working on lol.

Cheyenne Fuller

"Girls like a man who can clean up." said Jay gazing into his selfie camera fixing his hair. I just rolled my eyes, geez he looked like an Indian king or something.

It depends on the day I wanna have confidence or not. This one particular day I was feeling good, hair combed, nice clothing, smelled fantastic, I felt good. Pretty girl at the mall. I was with Jay. "Ok ok, I'm going to talk to her." It's been a while since I talked to a random girl. "You want me to come with you?" he asked. "Nooooo I'll be fine" I said. No way he was gonna ruin my chances, because it was obvious she would find him more attractive than me.

I approached her and started a conversation. It was going great until.... "Yeah so maybe we can hangout sometime it'll be fun" I said, monotone as ever. "Yeah sure thing, let me get your number." she said. Jay was a couple feet away, just watching the whole time. "Hey is that your friend over there?" she asked me. I really, really, really, REALLY wanted to say no. "Uh yeah, yeah that's him." I said, my confidence dropping. "Well tell him to come over here! He can hang with us too!" she said all happy and stuff. She waved her hands to him and motioned him over.

In fact he ended up getting her number too.

Reasons like this is why I don't talk to random girls hahaha. And the fact that Jay is only 18 and around two years younger than me and the girl made me feel funny for some reason.

It really hit me when one evening he got REAL dressed up and wanted to take a load of selfies and pictures, and I looked like crap, but did it anyway. He sent them to a girl he was texting(could of been multiple.) "Dammmnnn babe, you're a 10." she would respond to him. "Yeah? What do you think of my friend?" he asked, smiling at me all weirdly as he texted it. "Uhhhh I dunno...like a 4?" she responded.

BRUH.

You wanna know what's a confidence killer? When a girl rates you a 4 or under. Yeah, it's brutal.

"Daaaaammmmnnn boy she only think you a 4!" he started joking. "Hey! Some girls think I'm attractive too ya know!" I said, trying to protect myself. "Psssshhhhh." said Jay. Guess at the time I didn't really have any evidence to back that up lol.

"Boy I am a 10 though. Girls say it all the time. What do most girls think about you?" he asked all pompous like. Real stuff here. It was always windshield wiper rates from girls throughout middle school, high school, and college. I never cared, unless I had a cute girl haha. I wouldn't know for sure. I'm a second year college student. I don't ask girls to rate me lol. But I've had enough experience with girls to not worry about this stuff. Like I said, preferences, preferences, preferences.

It's not just Jay.

One time my friends Jonathon and Isaac were hanging out in Starbucks and, this girl across from us at a table kept staring and smiling at Isaac. Finally, as she is about to leave the coffee shop, she approaches us.....but only starts a convo with Isaac, as Jonathon and I just look at each other. They ended up exchanging numbers.

"Sure pays to look like Channing Tatum huh?" I said. We both laughed it off. Even Isaac laughed. "I didn't even know she was smiling at me! I thought she was smiling at you!" he said to me. "Surrrrreeee." I joked.

Cheyenne Fuller

There's no lesson to this post, I just thought it was funny and something some people could relate too. Always used to being the guy who is getting the action and your friend being the one watching from the sideline, or it could be the other way around.

It's hard. Obviously first impressions are key, but once you take the initiative to talk it could change the person's opinion about you. I'm a firm believer that my past success with girls is because of my personality, NOT my looks. Not gonna lie though, as long as I'm with a good looking bro hanging out, guess I'll just have to stand and watch him get the action lol.

But in all seriousness, life too short to even worry about little stuff like this. It's all just fun memories to look back on.

Haha! After I write all this I realize how silly this post is! What's even sillier is that I also think it's never the girls fault that she isn't attracted to you. I blame it on all attractive guys that they compare you too and realize they can be with them instead of you. All you men gotta quit being good looking and give us 4 out of 10 boys a chance lol. Am i right? Or amirite?

Lol thanks for reading fam. Just kidding, quit saying fam.

Cheyenne Fuller

https://www.instagram.com/kingofawkward23/
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Saturday, January 2, 2016

Penny Collection Savings

I've always loved money and hated spending it. I'd get a $20 bill for my birthday and I'd just stare at it. Just looking at money makes me happy.

When I was 12 years old I started my own penny savings. Every time I'd find a penny it would go into a 24 oz jar of mine. Once it seemed as if there were more than $2.00 worth of pennies in the jar, I would count up 200 pennies and then throw them into a huge empty water gallon jug. I've been doing this for almost 8 years now and I have 3 huge gallon jugs of pennies, all pennies.

The quest to this uncompleted accomplishment has been a funny one.

One time I went to the gas station and bought a burrito. My change was 2 pennies. There happened to be no pennies in the cash register, unless the cashier opened up one of those rolls of change.

It took her a while to find it AND open it. "Haha geez these 2 pennies must be a pretty big deal to you huh?" she said sarcastically, and slightly in an irritated tone. "Hell yes they are." I said holding my ground. There were 4 people behind me just muttering, stuttering, and sighing because she was taking too long with the rolls. Geez it was like 30 seconds.

"Dammn boy c'maw naw, ya'll don't need deez 2 ass pennies, ya'll be spendin on what now?" I forgot to mention that this was down in Downtown Dallas, the less high class area. I couldn't understand half the words he was saying. "Change is change, I'm gonna get my change alright?" I shot back. "Psshhhhh ya'll flippin. Pennies nigga. Pennies nigga." "I need to get out of here." I said to myself, I was close to laughing actually.

Back in high school my classmates knew about my penny collection and found joy in throwing pennies out the window of the track bus, just to watch me leap out and pick up multiple ones with joy and a good laugh

The motive is hopefully an ancestor kind of thing. When I'm a father I'll give it down to one of my children. There is always that one child that will be more interested in this kind of thing than the other child. And when they have kids, it'll be passed down to them as well and so on. It'll be a LOT of pennies, but I think it would be cool. It would be special for me. To know that I started something like this. I'm gonna make it happen. It'll be fantastic. I know it's a little ridiculous and childish but I think it's cool.

Thank you. Thank you for reading lol.

Cheyenne Fuller

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Saturday, December 19, 2015

Getting Engaged And Married At A Young Age

This is it. That early 20s, not a teen anymore stage that everyone is in. Growing up. We don't have to grow up ya know. There's still time ahead of us.

You found love. You're getting married. The biggest day of your life. The highlight reel of all your memories. Giving you chills and just crying, but it's good crying. Crying of joy and happiness......

If it all doesn't go well though, it could be cries of horror and sorrow. Referring to divorce and other influences that may ruin a relationship. But eh who knows the future?

ETERNITY. You're going to spend ETERNITY with this person. Well in better words, your whole life with them, until you die haha.

I just can't help it. Every time I see a friend or acquaintance with a engagement, pregnant, or married announcement on social media, I will judge. I will immediately go creep on their pictures and make assumptions haha. "Dang never thought she'd end up with him." "Naaaaaaahhhhh man you coulda done much better." "WHAT!? They've only dated for 2 months!" "Dude, dude, dude, check this out, remember that one girl? She's only 19 and she's getting married cause she's pregnant!"

Geez when I get married I will not announce it on social media, that's for sure. Just tell important people. This one girl announced engagement on Facebook and some fool commented "327 likes?! This guy must be a keeper!" I wanted to go through the computer screen and slap him a couple times. Love and marriage shouldn't be a popularity contest.

Sometimes I feel the choice of people getting married isn't 100% purely based on just loving them. All your friends may be married and you feel left out, you think you know what you want, but you really don't, some people just like attention and want to SHOW everyone that they're "in love." It's false love in my opinion if you have to prove your love with someone to other people on social media, etc. Sounds ridiculous but I'm serious.

There's a reason. A reason for the timing in proposal and marriage. It just seems right. Everything seems to come into place and just fit.

Isn't love and marriage the point of life? What else could you possibly want? Love. To be with someone attractive that you love. There is NO better feeling. I mean I guess as long as you're happy. But doesn't happiness require love? I look at marriage as the definite high point of life. YOU DID IT! You have your loved one and now you go on to complete the second half of your life. There's a first half, which is you experiencing different people and figuring things out and then there's a second half which is you finding the loved one and sharing your lives together.

The first half is hard, you don't really know if this person is for you. You get to know them and share experiences with them. It's a bumpy ride though. Break-ups, being cheated on, trust problems. People start to have second thoughts and doubts. But my lord the second half I'm assuming is worse. A bumpier ride. STILL the possible consequences of being cheated on, financial problems, children, housing, finding time, and REALLY. AND I MEAN REALLY. Truly finding out who they are. But hey, in the end it's all worth it, if it works out of course.

I've always dreamed of getting married young. Ever since I was 12 years old I kept telling myself 24 will be the age. The age I stand up in front of the altar with my wife. She's absolutely gorgeous in her white dress, her beaming eyes, and beautiful smile. "You may kiss the bride." Goosebumps all over me and just a powerful feeling through my body. I've always wanted kids too. Four. Four is a lot. But my dad had four and I just want to prove that I can be a better father than he ever was. The best father ever. I want to be young enough to play basketball with my children, eat ice cream with them, go to movies, tell them my experiences, read them my blog, and have them grow up to be wonderful people. To have them learn from my mistakes.

But something is telling me it won't happen, because in a few years I WILL BE 24 years old.

"These people are fools for getting married young. They don't really know what they want in life." One of my co-workers told me.

Maybe they've got it ALLLLL figured out. A plan. They just fell in love and this is it, it's all you've wanted. It's all we want. What's life anyways? You're born. You be happy. You grow up. You find love. You combine love and then you create love by passing it on and then you die. Correct? It's not exactly about the money? Is it? Life isn't about money right?

"Yo it ain't that easy bruh, these younglings think they got it all figured out. Just because their FAMILY got the money to help them out with this marriage stuff, don't mean they got it figured out. Getting married too quick or too young increases the chance of divorce. DIVORCE. You forgot about that right? Do you TRULY love this person? Or are factors such as environment, peers, people, family, or experiences just influencing your decision to marry this person. Maybe you're choosing this person simply because you're tired of being alone. You're tired of waiting and watching others get married. Listen I know there are tons of young married couples who get through it fine, and that's fantastic! But then again, there are many who don't. The ones who get married too quick."

My friend Joe said that.

I thought to myself. Alright well what's too young anyway? Whoever said the average 30 year old is smarter than the 20 year old? Or more stable? Or more ready? Where's the statistics to prove that? Not true. Ahhh I found the problem!! Whenever young couples get a divorce, people involved with their lives always try to blame it on age, but the real reason may just be timing or pure foolishness. Foolishness is in every age.

"You barely know him. You dated him for 3 months. 3 months. Is 3 months enough to learn every single thing you want to learn about someone. Perhaps you don't want to take the time? You know what you want.

Haha it's funny. Recently, when I'm not working, I've been spending my free time watching "The Secret Life Of The American Teenager" on Netflix. It's a series about a girl named Amy who gets pregnant at 15 and eventually gets engaged. She in a way influences the engagement because she's afraid Ricky(the father of the baby) will cheat on her. 2 other high school students, Ben and Adrian, get married because Adrian has a unexpected baby. Although they barely know a thing about each other and are 17 years of age. They choose to marry because they feel it's the "right thing to do." But they don't actually love each other. Same with Ricky and Amy. They love each other because of their experiences together, but they don't actually LOVE each other. Does that make sense?

Lol, it's a pretty false and unrealistic show, but like McDonald's, I'm lovin it.

Annnyyyyywaaayyyy. Why do I always get off topic?

"Dude maybe they get married fast because it lowers the chance of them getting cheated on." Sounds pathetic, perhaps a valid point though.

"Ah shut up. We all know relationships revolve around money. 98% of the time. Lord bless the 2% of love relationships. Marriage involves money. Tons of money. Damn why does every situation have to involve money?"

"What's marriage anyways? Two people sharing their lives together, sleeping together, making love, and being happy together? What if they don't commit? What if it doesn't work out? It all goes down hill from there."

Let's say two 19 year old high school dropouts living with single parents with low income are absolutely in love. High School, Middle School, Elementary School sweethearts. Known each other their whole lives, been through almost everything together. They want to get married. Are they going to get married? Sure they can. Would it be SMART for them to get married? Probably nahhhh...

What about two high class college students? Have both of their parents and high income. They've known each other for 3 months and are in love. They want to get married. Are they getting married? Sure they can. Would it be SMART for them to get married? Well. I guess they are the only ones who should answer that question huh? It's not an automatic no because they have MONEY. It all comes down whether they are ready to make this lifelong commitment.

It's just different life situations. We can't all have a happy beginning and a happy ending. "LiFE AinT NO LOvE StoRY Boi!"

That's it. It's sad. Time of love and marriage is highly influenced by MONEY. Marriage at a young age, in my opinion, has nothing to do with age.

You're not an idiot are you? I wanna slap those guys and girls who talk about their relationship problems and say this: "Well I just don't know if I'm in love with him or not." If you say that, then you're not in love. You must know. Your life and happiness counts on it.

C'maaaaan don't let money influence your life and who you love. But who am I kidding?

The percentage of girls that will marry who they love despite him being as broke as a hobo, is absolutely low. The 2%! The girls who do it are true woman though. I'll just say that. True love. What a risk to take!

Nooooo I'm not saying nowadays girls are GOLD DIGGERS, but woman want a sense of security, to know that they shouldn't have much to worry about. They will be in love, happy, and financially stable. BOOM. That's life right there. How can you blame a girl for wanting that?

Alright I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't make this post as interesting as I wanted to. Let me just say this. This is coming from my own mouth. Before you get married, before you "fall in love with your perfect man or woman", before you share your life, belongings, and EVERYTHING you have with this person....

There is no such thing as "the one." I don't believe in the "We were brought together for a reason." or "It was destiny, we were meant to be." NONSENSE. Whatever happens, happens. A person is a person. That person is attractive. You get along with that person. You guys like each other. That's it. It's simple. There is tons of attractive people. There are tons of people you will get along with. There are tons of people you will like.....

But what influences who you choose? When you get deep into it, money is a huge factor. Security. Admit it. It's the tie breaker. What makes someone more special than the other person? Something girls like to say lol, "UGH!! The little things he does that just make me go WILD :)))!!" There's always little things you'll like about different people. But who knows, maybe it is the little things, maybe it is more complicated than money. Psssh what do I know?

Now that I think about it, marriage at a young age isn't a big deal at all. If you have money. Marriage and love is good. It's the point of life.

Don't get me wrong, it's not all about money. Some really rich couples get divorced simply because money actually gets in the way, or because they're too busy working. Not truly in love....

If you're not financially stable you just wait. Be smart I guess. It's not about age people. It's about whether you love really them or not, whether you're happy with them, whether it's the right time or not. And if you're truly in love, truly happy, and the timing just feels right, then why not?

Sometimes the reason we judge and make assumptions about other people's lives is because we're questioning our own lives. Let people live. If they marry and live happily, then that's fantastic. And if they marry and get divorced, then that's too bad. You'll never know what could've happened if you took the different route. It is what it is, not everyone's love life can be a fairy tale.

"You'll never know what could've happened if you made a different decision than your current one. So go on. Do it. Take your chance. But is it a wise one?"

Cheyenne Fuller

Thanks for reading.

Cheyenne Fuller

https://www.instagram.com/kingofawkward23/
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Monday, November 9, 2015

Music Mondays #3 (Indietronica Mix) November 2015

Indietronica, or also maybe known as synthpop, indie dance, electronic, I dunno, what do I know? It's probably my favorite genre of music honestly because it has such a wide range of artists and the sound and rhythms that don't always have to sound the same, when you listen to a new song from this genre you automatically don't know what to expect. Does that make sense?

This is going to be my favorite playlist I create for you guys so far so I really hope you enjoy it, it's going to feature some of my favorite indietronica artists such as Dirty Vegas, Cardiknox, and The Knocks. It'll have a indie dance, experimental, chillstep, atmospheric, summery feel to it. So it'll make you relax, i dunno? lol.

Most artists you probably won't know, but that is the point of the music part of my blog, to introduce you to new music. They're fantastic.