Knowing And Trusting Your Spouse

 It's anonymous who reads these. I mean I know some people who read them because they comment on Facebook, text me, retweet my posts on Twitter or whatever, but I can't see any names. Just a number of how many people read it. There's just one person I'm afraid to know if she reads this stuff or not. She's really sneaky. That person is my mom. I'm too afraid to ask her too. It's awkward. Time will tell though. She hasn't been on Facebook for a while but she's gonna find out soon, maybe she already knows? Someone is gonna say something.

This post is pretty deep and probably the most personal one I'll share. Anyways, before I get into this, I want to make it clear that I'm not afraid to share personal information about me or my family that has happened in the PAST. It's examples. It's what makes and gets the points across and has evidence to be shown or explained. I mean obviously you know that with the stuff I've posted before, but just wanted to make that clear. You're not better than me, I'm not better than you. You judging me will make you look like a jerk hahaha(; That's what keeps me motivated, not afraid. It's what makes this blog real.

Everyone has secrets. Some that don't matter at all and some that could totally change the way you think about that person. It's so easy to be skeptical about people nowadays because you're seeing people do crazier and crazier things as time keeps progressing and the world keeps getting older.

Perhaps people are just way too gullible and don't actually think things through before they make their decisions about trusting people. I know one girl back in high school who talked to this guy online on one of those dating app things. They talked for maybe 10 minutes and he was able to convince her to hang out. He ended up almost raping her, but good thing it didn't happen. I won't go deep into that.

Girls are usually the ones who are the "victims" to being cheated on, lied to, blah blah, you poor innocent things.  I disagree, I'd say it's 50/50 even steven. Girls are just as sneaky, trust me.

You will NEVER know EVERYTHING about a person. No matter how much you beg them to tell you, they won't tell you ALL the big things. Or even when both of you are all like "Ok baby, let's tell each other everything about ourselves! We have to be 100% honest!" Sure you do it and everything, but your missing parts. The small parts that could totally change someone's opinion on you.. The parts that might distinguish your spouse from keeping you or getting an immediate divorce. Or maybe that's extreme? Maybe. Nahhhh lol.

It's been 3 and a half years since my mom has last seen my dad. Dead. Gone. We're all doing fine. We don't need him. Sure I miss him, I forgave him, the past is the past now. We all moved on. Not a big deal.

Back in 2012, the 2nd day after his death, I was telling myself, "It kinda seems like she's gotten over this death fast. She was so quick to wanting to move to Texas. She isn't really showing as much emotion as a wife should maybe?" And then 2 days after the death, after Ariel, Marcus, and I came from school we found out. And were astonished.

I guess Alex was the first one told by mom because he told all 3 of us to take a seat on the couch. "Ok so mom just told me something, and she needs to tell you guys." said Alex. Mom looked all stern, afraid. Almost wanted to cry again. Mom started speaking. "You guys, there are some secrets about your father you need to know, that you didn't know before." My heart was racing pretty fast now. It couldn't have been that bad right?

"Your father is 14 years older than you think. He's 68 not 54." "Wait what?" I said. "No wait I'm not done yet." said mom. "He has had a ex-wife in the past with two children, he's been to jail twice for stealing tons of money and electronics. He has fake ID's with fake names. He did this all before he got married to me."

Well duh I was the first person to speak. "Well how come you didn't say a word to us before? I asked her. "Because I didn't know! I didn't know until 2 days ago when I found all these papers!" she cried out. Marcus started up now, "No that's a lie! You just didn't want us to know, of course you knew how old he really was, he's your husband!" yelled Marcus. "Marcus she didn't know, he was hiding it from us the whole time." said Alex siding with mom. "Nope I don't believe it. How can you get married to a crazy man and not know a thing about him!? I yelled. Mom was now crying. "I'm serious guys I didn't know anything about this!" she said sobbing.

I was already angry enough for everything that has happened to me before, so this gave me a chance to show my emotions on this. "You and this crazy man have been torturing us ever since the day we were born, beating us for no reason, making us miserable, not letting us do anything, and making us move up to these dumb mountains to live in an unfinished house! Do you think we're stupid!? There's obviously a reason you guys don't want us to live near people, or a reason you guys have absolutely no friends. You were hiding things the whole time! Why the heck would you two move to Sheridan, Montana of all places to live!? How can you not know your husband was not 14 years older than he really was? You're playing stupid with us right now, you knew the whole time but you just didn't want to tell us. When were you going to tell us!?" "I'm not lying!" she yelled.

"Nahh I'm done with this" I said. I went in the room and Marcus followed behind me. "You guys gotta quit making assumptions and realize the truth!" Alex shouted behind us. "Crazy lady!" yelled Marcus.

I laid on my bed. And realized it was true. It all came together. I remembered working with my dad back in 2011. He was talking to his boss while I was in the van and I happened to see a paper with all of his info on it.

He claimed to be born on November 24, 1957. But on the paper it said November 24, 1943. "Whaaaaa??" I thought to myself. I did some questioning when dad got in the car. "Hey Dad did they mess up your age on this thing?" I said handing it to him. He froze, and looked stunned. Silent for a good 10 seconds. "AHHHH I'd be damned, they messed up my age on this thing." he said. "Dang that's weird haha" I said. "Stupid people son. Messing up things and don't know how to do their job right." laughed Dad. Wow he punked me.

It even got clearer when I worked for the father and mother of a girl in Marcus's class, Tallie, a year later my junior year. I would cut grass for them, outside work, you get the idea. "I bet you really miss your father huh?" said Tallie's father. "Sure do", I said, pretending to be sad, it didn't bother me anymore. I was over it, but people constantly bring it up. "I was really good friends with him, did you know of any of the crazy things he has done in the past!?" My heart stopped now. Wait what? He knew!? Did the whole damn town know about my father and my mom "apparently" didn't!?

I decided to play stupid and acted like I didn't know. "Um no, I don't know anything? Something happen? What happened?" Tallie's mom and dad looked at each other and took a deep breathe. Come inside son, take a seat. I'll make you some coffee."

"Haha your father was an exciting man, always up to mischief. Always in trouble, but he was a GENIUS! A evil genius at that. I remember when he and his friend, every other night would break into fast food restaurants such as Burger King and McDonald's and steal money from them. I have no clue how they did it! Never got caught. They were richer than ever! He bought a boat at one point with his friends and they sailed it and everything."

I was actually laughing at this, it sounded like a fiction story around a campfire or something. "This has got to be a joke." I laughed. "I'm not kidding. Around early 1970s this happened after he finished up his time in the Air Force. A couple years later he got in trouble for stealing a motorcycle and did some time in jail. He's been in and out of jail for some little things. Good thing they never found out about the hundreds of thousands stolen fast food money or his ass would've been behind bars for multiple years." he said.

"Did he really have a wife before my mom?" I asked. "Yep he was married to this white chick. laughed Tallie's mom, had two children. I believe they live in Idaho right now still."

I remember two years ago Dad took a trip to Idaho by himself, mom was angry because she didn't know exactly what he was doing. Hmmm.

He kept going on and on about all these things my dad did, and I was just astonished. A genius who got away with the most craziest things. I was very angry because most of the whole damn town knew for years and my mom didn't have a clue until three days after he died. It must've been killing her inside.

For all of the twenty something years my mom and dad were married, she knew none of this. Not even his age! Didn't even know he had an ex-wife. None of us knew. He looked very young. Nothing near 68. When we went to see him in the mortuary he suddenly looked that age. I felt bad. My mom must've been hurting, feeling this very weird feeling. What do you feel? You can't be mad, he's dead! To this day I still don't even know what to think really.

A long painful awkward story like that is pretty pointless for this subject, but it was just so mysterious lol. The point is that you just have to really care for and know your spouse, or maybe even your boyfriend or girlfriend. Ask them if they have any secrets. It's hard to do cause it might be awkward, but better than being hurt after a long period of time though right?

It doesn't matter what I say or think, because either way it's just too hard to trust people anymore, I and many others have such a hard time doing it. I have friends who just suddenly won't talk to a girl or guy or someone they like anymore because they're too suspicious and automatically assuming that they're cheating or "get around." "Why aren't you talking to me anymore??" "Cuz u nasty girl, I don't want none o dat."

Maybe you do know everything about your loved ones. You're doing totally fine. But it's good to be skeptical, or maybe it's not? We should be able to trust each other without worrying? It's amazing the amount of people cheating on their loved ones and they don't know about it.

Who am I kidding though? All of this weird crazy stuff only seems to happen to my family and I haha, that's why I'm the chosen one telling you all this crap lol.

Thanks for reading, sorry I try my best not to get too personal but it just happens lol. Whatevs.

Cheyenne Fuller

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