Atheists And Trying To Believe In God

I'm a Christian. I think I told you guys that before. Cool right? We all believe in what we want to believe in. I accept people for whoever they are and what they do, unless they're creeps or jerks. Even non-believers. I even have friends who don't believe in God and we still get along. I don't have the guts to "talk" to them about it and to "change" them or whatever, it's just awkward ya know? People are people, I don't judge. Just because I'm a Christian doesn't mean I'm writing this for Christians. I'm not writing this for atheists, and I'm not writing this for devil worshipers either. This is for all people. We're all people and if us Christians judge others and can't love them for who they are, then are they really Christians? The Bible tells us to love our enemies and everyone correct?

Ok, this is where many of you are going to start to hate me and thing I'm eccentric or something. You're going to think I'm weird for saying this but I can understand why some people are atheists and wouldn't want to believe in God.

My good friend and former roommate Bill is a non-believer. Ok so what? He's just another non-believer, big deal. Jonathon(my other roommate who is a Christian) and I would have friendly debate about Jesus with Bill every other day and they were pretty interesting and really made me think. "I just don't believe a man can walk on water." said Bill. "He's not just any man, he's God." said Jonathon. "Where's your evidence that he's God?" "It's in the Bible." How do you know the Bible is even non-fictional or true? Why don't some people believe in evolution? Stuff in history and science books are fake too aren't they?" said Bill. I'm not gonna lie, and this is coming from a Christian, but I was impressed with Bill's arguments(there was more).

I'm going to be honest, I haven't been praying much or reading my Bible lately either. I don't know any good memory verses to back up the evidence Jonathon and I were saying, so far Bill was "owning" us in this debate. And then he really shut us up.

Dallas Baptist University is the college we attend(Bill went here for hockey). He was a goalie, very talented. All students were forced to attend chapel 3 days a week. 1 hour of worship and a guest speaker. Bill absolutely despised this, but his reason wasn't because it was about God and stuff. During chapel worship, many girls would raise their hands waive them everywhere and some would get on their knees too, not a big deal right? Well what made Bill angry is the fact that 40% of the girls who would praise and show physical affection were being fake. One time I saw a group of girls do this at chapel and then later that day they were at the club getting drunk, how do I know? Because my other friends and I were there too. These girls did this daily. I understood why Bill was going against God. It was extremely hard to convince him otherwise.

"All these fake Christian girls praising Jesus like crazy in chapel and then get drunk hours later at the club and grind on every guy they see." exclaimed Bill laughing. I'm sorry but I laughed too, It was 100% true unfortunately. "You expect me to believe these Christians? You expect me to believe they're such great people and that they obey all their commandments?" said Bill. "Well we all make mistakes." said Jonathon. "We pray to God and he forgives us." "And what? You pray to him and then right after you break some more commandments and repeat the same damn process?" chuckled Bill. "You're trying to tell me that these fake stuck up Christian girls have the nerve to praise and worship God every morning and then later that day get drunk and slut around with every guy?" And then by the end of the night they "pray to God and beg him for forgiveness." and then they repeat the same damn act the next day. That is a bunch of bullshit."

Bill got us good. Jonathon and I sat there dumbfounded. Haha don't worry he didn't change me or made me think differently, I'll always be a Christian and love God, nothing in the world would change that. But then Bill really got to my mind and made me think. I got upset. Not at Bill, but at God.

"If God is so great and holy, then why are there starving people in this world? Why are there Christian people in this world in need of some serious help and they're not getting it?" said Bill. I sat in silence. This made me think of my family and what we were going through. We always prayed. Jonathon sat in silence too, I guess we should've read the Bible and prayed more before we started this debate with Bill haha. "I'm sorry guys, there are rich non-believers out there living the life and getting whatever they want and then all of these struggling Christians are suffering because their great God won't do anything for them." I sadly kinda agreed. "You're right." I said. Jonathon looked at me in astonishment. "I don't understand why God is being so great to all of these ungrateful rich douchebags and isn't helping the people who need it most." I said. "Because he's not real haha." said Bill jokingly. "I just think that if you're overall a good person and not an asshole that you should be "praised" or whatever. But I'm not going to believe in an invisible man." he claimed. Discussion ended. I felt selfish and horrible for saying what I said, I was taking my horrible life experiences and present experiences out on God.

Later that day we were eating at Chick-Fil-a and kinda started discussing it again, but it was a little different. This time Bill went at the Christian guys at DBU. "If all these guys love Jesus so much, then why are they trying to be liked so much and hang around their douchebag friends not giving other people a chance? Wearing their damn hat backwards and revving their engine in their vehicles. They're just as stuck up and obnoxious as the girls here." Jonathon and I halfway agreed with this statement and kinda laughed too. There were many fake, stuck-up, picky, high-class people at DBU, but at the same time only 30% of DBU was like that, remember, I did make tons of good friends at DBU, I wisely knew who my real friends would be.

At this moment it got extremely awkward. Taylor and Gracie, good friends of mine who actually invited me to church a couple of weeks ago walked in the door. Gracie goes to DBU and would always give me a ride to church. She waved at me and then walked the other way. Taylor was the leader of a program called "The Love Project." Every Wednesday he and a group of college students would go to different colleges and pray for students. He was such a great guy and great friend. Anyway, he unfortunately walked into chick-fil-a with his hat backwards. "Strike one." said Bill. "Hey Cheyenne we're here praying over people today for the Love Project!" exclaimed Taylor. "Strike two." said Bill laughing jokingly. "Come join us! Do you guys need to be prayed for?" asked Taylor as he walked toward us, took a seat, and introduced himself. Bill gave Jonathon and I the don't say yes look. We all four sat there in silence for 10 seconds. Awkward. "Well I guess I need to be prayed for." said Jonathon. Taylor prayed over Jonathon as Bill sat there shaking his head in disgust.

Taylor welcomed all of us to go upstairs where the rest of the group was hanging out. Bill was on the outside of the circle. "Hey I think I need to pray over you." said Taylor. Bill made this face that made me want to burst out laughing. This was so awkward and I was trying my best not to laugh. I know. I'm horrible. "Would you let me do that?" asked Taylor. Bill just stood there in silence. "Strike three." whispered Jonathon in my ear and then we both lost it and started laughing. Taylor started praying over Bill without his approval, and this was just too awkward to even look at. It made me cringe.

This story wasn't to bash Bill. Of course it wasn't, he's a close friend of mine. This was story was to point out a factor that may cause people not to believe in God. Is it the non-believers fault that they don't believe in God? Or is it us Christians fault for setting such bad examples? We make mistakes. We all do. But are we overusing the power to ask God for forgiveness? I just don't know. I need to get myself straight. Obviously, I'm not the best Christian either. I need a lot of praying and talking with God to do. It's a working process. I still understand why Bill feels the way he feels, he's not a bad person at all. Classy and nice gentleman.

I have trouble talking to people about God and my problems. It's awkward to me. Does that make me a bad person? I'm working on it. "Well just pray to God about it. You'll be fine!" That's easy for them to say when they're not in your shoes haha... Tell me what you think.

Haha thanks for reading, I'm going to bed now!

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