Death

We live. We die. We've already been over this. I really don't like talking about this stuff. It's so depressing. Everyone is always talking about "Oh live life to the fullest." "Young, wild, and free!" or "YOLO!" Most of those people annoy me, because they say all that stuff and say that you shouldn't act sad and boring all the time. But yet, whenever they see people like you and I trying new things or doing something out of the ordinary with our friends that they wouldn't do, they're the first people to judge.

I'm not getting deep into "death" in this blog. We're supposed to be happy haha. Live, be happy, die, despite your advantages and disadvantages compared within your peers. That's why you're sad all the time. You're too busy comparing, you're too busy envying, too busy hating, making enemies and being jealous. Worrying you won't have any money, a job, a relationship, a spouse. If you worry less those things will come to you. Be patient and most importantly quit being lazy or you're going to spend your whole life whining and crying and then you die.

There's a lot of people I don't really "favor." It never bothers me if I don't like them or if they don't like me though. How do I not let this bother me?

"Well you know what Cheyenne, they're gonna die someday. Their friends and family are going to be heartbroken it's going to HURT all of them in the inside. They're gone. No more. Out of this world. They had a story, but now the book has ended. Love your enemies." I tell myself this quite a bit. We all relate to 2 things. Life and Death. You've had tons of people die in your life. You were upset huh? "OH LORD WHY ME!? THIS IS SO UNFAIR!"Well I'm sorry but it's not "unfair." We all die someday. Their time is their time. Soon it's your turn.

I've had people in my life die too. Friends, Mentors, Teachers, and my Dad. My Dad died March 13, 2012, 2:16 a.m. in the morning. He had a heart attack, right in our house, ambulance came but it was too late. I'm not gonna get all detailed about it, that's just weird, you don't want to read that stuff anyway.

Sure I cried, my siblings, my mom, friends, and family cried. It was weird though, you're going to think I'm crazy. I wasn't feeling "sad" I just don't know what I was feeling at all. My little brother Marcus and I still went to school that day. The SAME day he died. 5 hours after he died. Of course the school counselor and her big mouth came into all classes and told the whole world. The class was stunned it was all silent. Mouths just dropped and stared at me. I just sat there, I didn't cry or anything, I honestly didn't feel anything. I got through school just fine. 2 weeks later, a kid in Alex's former high school class named Matt Britain committed suicide. The whole town couldn't believe how many people were passing away.

Let's be honest, some of us don't have good relationships with our parents, siblings, and people. My dad didn't have a good relationship with Alex, Marcus, Ariel, and I. I, the second child, was probably the one "closest" to him. Which is very sad. I still have bruises and scars all over from that man. He taught me a lot though about electronics. I worked with him in 2011, earning $14 an hour at a mine. First time we actually had 1 on 1 talks and bonded.

I wasn't worried that my Dad died, I was worried because I knew our family was in big trouble. He was the man of the house, the one bringing in the bacon lol. We moved closer to school, sold a bunch of his junk for money, and planned to sell the land and property we had. This is when my mom and I had our constant arguments about moving to Texas. Gosh I didn't want to move down here. But here I am. My mom believes this was "supposed" to happen. I still don't know about that.

This is going to sound horrible, but I started having much more freedom, joy, and happiness in life RIGHT after my dad died. Things happen for a reason. Tons of relationships, friends, and moments I never would've made if he didn't die. I wouldn't be in Texas right now. The only bad thing is that our family was now a WRECK. There were "goods" and "bads" to him dying. Obviously it was horrible that he died though.

Ariel, Marcus, and I constantly argued with mom while Alex was in college. Not a day have we had happiness together. I always hung out with my friends and stayed away from home as much as possible, Marcus constantly stayed in his room and played computer games, and same with Ariel.

After I graduated we moved to Texas. We left so many memories in Montana. My family and I changed many lives. We're all older and have matured. Ok I'm done talking about myself and personal problems haha.

Listen that story might have been unnecessary, but the point is that everyone is going to die. I try my best not to argue with mom. We still do, but I'm really trying my best. My siblings and I have a great relationship though, all 4 of us. I make sure to choose my friends wisely too. My friends and family is all I have. I love them all. I don't hate people I don't prefer, I just simply don't talk to them.

They're all going to die someday, at some point where we least expect it. You have to love them. You have to show them you care. You won't want the last thing you say to them to be something you don't mean.

My mom and I don't get along well, never have.. But I love her, it's my current duty to show her I do too. You don't get along with someone either. You have to show them you care. They're going to pass away when you least expect it. Then what? Will it matter that you didn't like them? Nope. They're gone. I miss my dad. I really do even though it may not seem like it. I'm going to be the best father ever lol. I'm going to love my wife and children so much. My goal in life is to find my wife, my kids, be happy, and change lives. I'm 50% there. Family and Friends first. Always. Life isn't about money. It's about love and happiness. Live, Love, Laugh, Die. It's simple. Time is flying fellas. Lady fellas.

Cheyenne Fuller

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