I'm a second year college student and this whole financial thing has been bothering me ever since I was 9 years old. Why? Probably because I was surrounded by tons of brats who got everything handed down to them all the time and my family just struggled, struggled, struggled. No no no I'm not feeling sorry for myself, because I still managed to have an awesome and memorable childhood. I knew it was going to get worst mentally for me when my family and I moved to Texas though. Keller, Texas. Next to Southlake and Flower Mound. Two EXTREMELY uppity places with high-class tea drinking judge-mental people who drive corvettes.
You see. You're going through troubles just like everyone else. It can be anything, but your attitude depends on how you're mentally dealing with it. People have a big factor on this too. People suck. One time my little brother and I were walking down to the park to go play basketball. I love and hate walking. I love it because I can listen to music and clear my mind, but I was with Marcus. I hate it because Texas is full of a bunch of stuck up hypocrites. Boom. 3/4 of you are probably going to stop reading this right now.
Blah blah blah, "Those people are everywhere." Well anyway this boy and girl, a couple I'm guessing driving a mustang, drove as close as they could to us, revved their engine and said "Losers with no vehicle! Losers with no vehicle!" "Now you know why I stay in the room and play video games all the time." said Marcus. We kept on walking, but that couple must have circled around because now they were behind us again. They drove up revved their engine again and said "Get a vehicle losers!!"
We got home hours later. "I swear one of these days I'm going to puncture the tires to those 16 year old stuck up idiots vehicles." I said. "Cheyenne stop it, you have to quit envying people and what they have!" I know but I just couldn't, it even bothered me during college too.
"Seriously, I'm getting tired of the cafeteria food, lets go eat out tonight." said Bill. "Sounds good to us!" exclaimed Trevor and Jonathon. The three headed out the door. "Hey come on Cheyenne we're going to Whataburger!" "Aw well you guys go ahead I think I'm just gonna eat at the cafeteria haha." I said. Jonathon came over to me. "Don't worry buddy, I gotcha covered. Come with us." I appreciate my friends so much. Thank the Lord I made true friends throughout my whole life. The problem is that I hated when people payed for my stuff. One time it got even worst.
"Hey Cheyenne are you going to that dance thing?" asked Leah(she was a good college friend of mine.) My friend Carlos told me she liked me but I couldn't tell if he was serious. "Uh I don't know yet! Maybe!" I had absolutely NO MONEY. "Well maybe we could go together! Amber and Carlos are going to, we could carpool!" exclaimed Leah. "I'll let you know!" I said. I'm such an idiot. Leah deserved better. It was $20, I didn't have the money. Literally had 65 cents, I remember exactly lol. Every month my mom put $50 in my bank account, but it would usually end up going towards college payments or food for the weekend. Later that day, 20 minutes before the dance I told Leah I couldn't go. I'm convinced that I was born purposely just to go through the most awkward things. I knew she was upset. I was heading towards the cafeteria to eat and I saw Carlos. "Brooooo Emily is pissed at you man." "Why is Emily mad?" Emily was Leah's friend. "Because you promised Leah you would go to the dance with her and now you're bailing on her." "Woah woah woah, first of all I didn't promise her, I said I would let her know. Dude I don't have enough money, I couldn't buy a ticket." "They're only $20 man." "Only?" I said. Carlos got silent.
I felt horrible, but they all forgave me. Near the ending of the first college semester was the worst part. "Don't worry about it until it's actually happening." Remember my quote? Well now it was happening. DBU(Dallas Baptist University) shut down my blackboard, sent me constant emails, and called multiple times because I haven't made any payment to my account. I already pulled out two loans and couldn't pull anymore. I owed them $4,800 still and I didn't have a dime. They finally caught me and MADE me go to the cashier's office to talk to them. This was embarrassing. There was a line of people behind me, a bunch of frats and sororities. I knew some of them.
The man I was talking to was so loud too. I literally told him, "Listen I know I owe you guys money and stuff, but could you at least quiet your voice a little? It's embarrassing for some people you know." He was astonished. "Um ok I'm sorry sir but you still owe us money and if you're not able to pay us, you will have to dropout from the school." he said. I breathed heavily, heart beating so fast. "I just don't have it, I'm sorry." I sighed. This guy was a dick. His voice got much louder. "Well I guess you're going to have to dropout then if you don't have the funds you owe us." An employee at Dallas BAPTIST University acting like this. Seriously? I just walked away. It was silent in the whole room, even the other students being helped out stopped at what they were doing and watched me take the walk of shame. Later that day I begged and pleaded to my mom. I don't know why, because she was in financial trouble too. She couldn't help. Depression hit. I applied to jobs around campus but none even called back. "What the heck? My resume is great!" And it was!
One minute I was trying to convince myself to be as happy as ever and the other minute I was just way too sad. I was literally just laying on the grass, wishing I would just fall asleep forever. I wouldn't mind that. No vehicle meant no job, no job meant no money, no money meant no girlfriend. Everyone always had an advantage over me. "Hey man my girlfriend and I are going to the Mavericks game, you and your girl should come with us!" "Wow thanks for inviting me man, I'm pumped! Lets go!!" I literally heard this as two frat guys passed me on their way from the library. To be honest, I almost wanted to cry. Thank God I didn't. "I wonder if I'll ever be able to do something like that with a girl." I thought to myself.
The end of the semester I was able to pay off the money. My great Trevor payed $100 on my account without me knowing to keep my blackboard account alive. I was astonished. Do you have many friends like that? Probably not. My mom got money from the old vehicle we used to have in Montana. Relief. It's not the fact that I didn't have much that bothered me. It's the fact that people had more than me and some looked down on you like you were worthless or something. They would embarrass you. You need real friends in life and people you can relate to or your life is going to be miserable, whether you're wealthy or not. This story wasn't to tell you what I was going through, this story was to tell you that sometimes, some places aren't for you and happiness depends on you, not money. You have to realize where you belong and who you belong with. It's not about money, people are doing worst off than you and still have their heads held high. It's all about attitude and mental thinking. Be happy for what you have. There are people in this world going through what you are too.
Cheyenne Fuller
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