We've all experienced awkward and embarrassing times in our lives. Once you're comfortable with it and realize how funny they were, you'll feel comfortable sharing your stories. Mine are very embarrassing and quite graphic so prepare. I didn't want to share some, but that would be cheating. Haha enjoy.
1. (2005) Finally my hair was cooperating and I loved it, but my dad hated it, "Boy you gettin a haircut!" Great. We went to Wal-Mart cause life is all about saving money right? They put me in the chair and then asked my dad how much they wanted to cut off. "Shave his hair." "Woah wait dad come on why!?" I complained. "Boy I don't wanna hear it! Or I'm gonna spank you right in this store!" If that didn't make a scene, me crying sure did. I saw people through the window pointing and laughing at me as I cried and got my head shaved. "Stop ballin boy!"
2. (2006) My dad worked on building a house up in the mountains 25 miles from Sheridan, Montana(the town we currently lived in.) Unfortunately the people we were renting from had enough and we had to get out. The house wasn't even finished built though, not even close, it was winter at the time too, tons of snow. We had no where to live, so we used Dad's friends camper.(I'll get more into this story later on.) Living in this camper sucked, especially with 6 people. It was tiny. None of us told our friends at school what happened, but a kid in Marcus's class, Justin, knew what happened because he lived up there as well, 2 miles away. We were at a parent teachers conference waiting for our parents and Keila(another girl in Marcus's class and our ex-neighbor) came up to us and said so the whole world could hear, "Hey what happened to you guys? Why don't you live in town anymore!?" I started "Oh well we-" Until Justin cut me off. "They live in the mountains now! They live in this tiny camper because their house isn't finished!" Everyone in the cafeteria heard and it just got silence. Sheridan School population is 200 kids altogether and the town is about 1,200 people. Everyone knew by the end of the week lol.
3. (2006) I was eating my apple and went to go throw it away when I was done. "Boy why you throwing that apple away!?" yelled my dad. "I'm done with it" I said. He yanked the apple from me, "There's still apple on this core! Boy what's wrong with you!? You can't be throwing money away like that! Huh!? You think apples grow on trees boy?!" I tried keeping my mouth shut but I couldn't. I kinda chuckled and said, "Well yeah they kinda do." I got the belt after that one.
4.(2007) We were on a field trip and I was enjoying myself with tons of food and soda, stuff we didn't get home. But I ate too much, I was feeling sick. My classmates and I got on the bus. "Hey bro are you feeling ok?" said Rafael(best friend) "Dude I think I'm going to throw up." "GET OFF THE BUS!" yelled the class, I ran for the bus door but it was too late. I threw up all over the aisle. "AWWHHHH GOAWSH!" yelled the bus driver. The wait while staff cleaned the bus was really awkward.
5.(2008) "Hey Dustin read chapter 7" said Mr. Burke, our science teacher. Dustin Brown kinda had anger issues and stuff, but I was his friend. "No I don't want to." "Dustin please read chapter 7 please" said Mr. Burke calmly again. "I SAID NO!" he yelled. The whole class got silence. "Dustin either read the passage or go to the office!" said Mr. Burke. "YOU KNOW WHAT!? SCREW THIS SHIT!" Dustin took the book, threw it at the door and stormed out of the room. It was complete silence for at least 30 seconds, as I tried my best not to laugh.
6.(2008) Rafael and Cody Boucher(smartest kid in the class) were put in a group together for springboard.( a math program our superintendent put together in our school) We all absolutely hated it and she was coming in today to help teach it. As the class continued on Cody was slowly getting more and more frustrated and consistently kept cursing the stupid program. Raf and I definitely had no clue what we were doing. Unfortunately Mrs. Harding heard him and came over and gave him a huge lecture. Cody started crying, Raf and I were sitting right next to him and trying our best not to laugh, but it was too late. This was extremely awkward. "Is something funny? Get out." said Mrs. Harding. We left the room still laughing. We felt horrible minutes later though.
7.(2009) Ariel my little sister was now 7 years old, but she peed herself at Bible Church Camp. Marcus and I extremely mean thought this was really funny, until kids at the camp went around yelling "Hey look everyone! It's the brothers of the girl who peed her pants!!!" "EWWWW!" yelled everyone. They stayed away from all three of us that day.
8.(2009) 13 years old and my middle school days were the days I struggled with acne and my mom would let me hear it every day. "You look absolutely horrible Cheyenne, you need to get rid on those nasty bumps!" Every day my mom and dad yelled at me for this, and I truly was trying. One day we stopped at McDonalds after shopping. My mom was already in a bad mood and this restaurant put her in a worst mood. It was full with people surprisingly, we ordered our food and sat down. "Cheyenne, why did you order such greasy food!? Your pimples will never go away!?" She went on and on, this was horrible. "Mom please stop." People were looking at us. Tons of people. "Boy you embarrassed!?" said yelled my dad. "Maybe if you cleaned that face no one would say anything!" It felt like the whole world heard.
9.(2010) It was a good day I came 1st in all of my track events, and impressed Jackie(my ex-girlfriend) but I felt sick after the 800m and I laid down and ate some of Kollin's(my other best friend) mango slices. Bad idea. Before I could reach a garbage can I threw up on Kollin's backpack and a little got on Jackie's sweater. Everyone was looking at me. "Damnnnn" I heard from afar. They just looked at me blankly. "I'm sorry." "It's ok, do you feel better?" The day suddenly really sucked.
10.(2010) Rafael and I were goofing around sticky tack, throwing it around and stuff in art class. It was all fun until I threw it and accidentally got it stuck in Mrs. Schendel's hair(art teacher.) "AHHHH what is thiiiissss??!" "Oh my gosh!" I yelled. I ran over to her and told her to calm down as I tried to get it off. "Bro you're making it worst!" yelled Raf. "OOOHH NOOO!! NOO!" whined Mrs. Schendel. The next day she had a haircut. Her hair was short. Really short. This was awkward. Surprisingly she didn't give me a detention.
11.(2010) Great. A month before high school and I have this HUGE pimple between my eyes. You just don't understand how huge this thing was. It looked like I had a third eye and it was impossible to pop. We had to wait a month to go to the dermatologist because of our finances. I hated going out in public, but my parents would make me, and would constantly bother me about it. I wouldn't look people in the eye. My dad would try popping it every night, but it would make it worst and it would get bigger and bigger. One day a lady at the store in Wal-Mart said to me out loud so the damn world could hear, "Oh my lord what happened to you!? That's not good! You must take care of that ASAP!? Oh my gosh!" This was the most embarrassing month of my life actually. A dermatologist got rid of it a week before high school started.
12.(2011) My dad was in a bad mood yelling at us in the morning before school started. We were heading to the vehicle as he still raged. "AND YA'LL BETTER QUIT!-" he couldn't finish his sentence as he slipped and fell on the snow. Ariel, Marcus, and I didn't help him or anything. We hurried to the vehicle before he could see us laughing. It was an awkward silence on the way to school.
13.(2011) I was starting drivers ed. It was $200 to take the class though. My parents didn't have the money. We got into an huge argument which ended with a belt on my back. During the class next day I had to tell Mr. Layng(the instructor) I couldn't participate. I whispered it to him, but he had to make a show out of it. "Why not?" he raised his voice so the 12 person class heard him(the class was split between ages.) "Well I mean....I don't have the money." I said. Class was silent for a good 10 seconds. "Well ok, you can leave." They transferred me to a P.E. class.
14.(2011) Beginning of sophomore year and the dumb zit came back, this time bigger than ever. I had to wait a week to go to the dermatologist, why do the bad things happen to me? I tried to avoid everyone that week, even Samantha, the girl I had a huge crush on. Usually I'm the one running up to her and starting the convo. But this time it was her. I saw her walking towards me. "Shit." I whispered. I put my beanie even lower on my forehead to try to cover it up. It was going ok, she didn't really notice, I was acting real awkward though. It got worst when Mr. Stout(principal) came over. "Fuller! No hats in the school! He came over to me and tried to yank my hat off, I tried to fight him off but he won and yanked it off my head. Samantha's eyes kinda widened and Mr. Stout said "Oh gosh what happened." "Um well..." is all that came out of my mouth. "I gotta go haha, see ya guys later." said Sam as she walked off. "Dang I'm sorry, I didn't know." said Mr. Stout.
15.(2012) It was prom, three weeks after my dad died(more on that later.) I had the guts to ask Samantha and she happily said yes. She looked AMAZING. I was so nervous in the beginning. The first couple of times slow dancing I was getting turned on. I was hoping she didn't notice. There was another slow dance and this time I really got turned on. Raging lol. She obviously noticed. After the song, she whispered to me and said "hey I really have to go. Thanks for an amazing night!" And hurried out the door with Jonnie(girl in her class I don't like.) Dang. Well at least it happened during the ending of the night. Months later I found out she left because she was afraid I was going to ask her for sex. This was really awkward.
16.(2012) Sophomore year, drivers ed(I paid for it myself). I just got done with my turn and it was Lucas's turn(freshman student, I was taking drivers ed with the freshman.) I must of ate some bad food during lunch because I really had to "let loose" if you know what I mean. It was 30 minutes until we would get home and I knew I couldn't hold it. I let it go real silently in the vehicle. 10 seconds I hear Mr. Layng yell, "OHH MY GOD STOP THE CAR! "WHO JUST FARTED!? OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO THROW UP!" Lucas slammed on the breaks and pulled over. Mr. Layng stumbled out of the car and started making gagging noises. "AHHH MY GOD!" He didn't throw up but he was on his knees for a good minute. You can definitely say the car ride back home after that was one to remember.
17.(2012) During the summer Rafael and I joined a summer program called Upward Bound(a college experience for a month) I mainly did it to get away from mom. I loved it. We made tons of friends and made relationships too. A girl named Anna and I had a thing. There were rules like no PDA and stuff like that, but we would find locations and make out and stuff. One time when we didn't think anyone was looking we went at it again. This time an RA caught us. The punishment for such an act was to wash the dishes. I was friends with tons of the kids there and they would jokingly leave food and do nasty stuff to the trays as a joke. Nice. At the end of the program each kid got a nickname. Mine was "sweet lips." My mom looked at me oddly at the banquet, "Why is that your nickname?" "I dunno." I shrugged.
18.(2012) Stupid Sheridan School changed around the schedule after sophomore year. I was a junior now and I could either choose Agriculture Ed., Advanced Computers, or Child Development. I needed to get good grades this year. I didn't do Ag. Ed cause there were way too many douche bags and I wouldn't enjoy it. I tried Advanced Computers the first week and knew I was going to fail. I sucked at that stuff. I transferred to Child Development. First guy ever at the school to do such a thing. The week with the baby was the worst thing. I had to go everywhere with it and it was embarrassing. All my friends laughed, joked and stuff. One time I accidentally dropped the baby down the stairs. One time I had a basketball game and no one was available to take care of it. I left it outside behind the school so no one could hear it "crying." Surprisingly I passed the class with a A. I did better than all the girls. Haha wow.
19.(2013) It was a party at Cody Allinson's house(more on this later on) Some juniors and some seniors were there. I lied to mom and said I was going over to a friend's house(she barely let me go). We all got drunk and the night ended with me in front of the toilet while Samantha cleaned my vomit from the carpet. I then looked up and saw a police officer staring down at us. To make a long story(I'll tell you all of it later) short, almost everyone got minor in possession and had to go to court, some people got away cause they hid in a closet. One girl peed herself in there. The whole school, church we went to and town knew about the M.I.P's handed out because of how small the damn area is. My mom was so angry. There is so much on this that I'll have to tell you later.
20.(2013) Washington D.C. All of us juniors went there for close-up. Kollin, Rafael, and I met tons of friends and beautiful girls there. One day it was BURNING hot there but we were all asked to dress up. Rafael was SOAKED in sweat and it was even more obvious when we got on the bus. "Hahaha oh my god" said one girl. "Haha holy crap dude you look like you jumped in a lake." I said. The whole bus laughed at this and kept saying funny jokes about Rafael and his sweat. I felt bad but it was really funny. Raf just sat there awkwardly.
21.(2013) Senior year. Rafael and I were on our way to see Lily( a girl I decided to hang with) We went to go see a football game with her and saw Tobi and Jessica( I liked Jessica a year ago and still kinda did, Tobi liked me currently and I thought she was really cute, we talked quite a bit at the time but I chose to hang with Lily that day, I truly liked Tobi though. "Hey come sit next to us guys!" said Amanda(a friend of Tobi's and Jessica's. We went and sat over there and the awkwardness started. Tobi grabbed my left hand and said "Wow your hands are really cold." We were now holding hands. Jessica noticed I was shaking(I foolishly didn't bring a sweater) and said smiling"Hey you can wear my gloves if you want?" She took my right hand and put the glove on me and started talking to me. At the corner of my eye I could see Lily glaring them down. It looked like she wanted to choke them. Rafael was trying his best not to laugh. The game ended and it was time to say goodbyes. Tobi and I hugged for what seemed forever until Amanda said "ok you 2 that's enough." Jessica and I hugged goodbye and then Raf and I hung with Lily the rest of the night. That night was was awkward but quite pleasant.
22.(2013) Rafael spilled Mr. Bartoletti's oil and he wasn't in a good mood. We worked for him and did the most atrocious and physical work for him like moving huge rocks and cutting down huge trees and moving them. We backed the truck into the huge trash dumping facility and started emptying the garbage as Mr. Bartoletti constantly kept lecturing Rafael. "Rafael! You'll be lucky if you even get a paycheck! Next time you better ahh-! We heard him yelp as he slipped and fell into the garbage disposal. Kenny, Rafael, and I started laughing so hard and couldn't stop. We cried in laughter as we saw Mr. Bartoletti climb out of the garbage. "What are you looking at? Get your ass back to work!"
23.(2014) Jasmine(a friend from Ennis) was planning to go to prom together. I was excited! Until the day of prom my mom said I couldn't go because Jasmine and I were planning to have me spend the night at her house. My mom and I got into an huge argument. You ended up with going with friends, but gosh that's just so awkward, especially since I promised.
23.(2014) It was band festival. I joined band to get an easy A and it worked. I played trumpet, same as Marcus but he was better than me. I still had no clue what I was doing, but I wasn't like super bad. I messed up on all of the songs at the festival and helped the band get low scores. On top of that, they had individual instrument group judging. I was paired up with an 8th grader and 7th grader. They barely knew what they were doing either. It was our turn and we sounded atrocious. I wasn't even playing and the lady conducting called me out as well, "Were you even playing?" "Not really."
24.(2014) Well it's almost the end of my first college semester and Dallas Baptist University is such an expensive school. I ended up there on accident(more on that later.) The financial office was hunting me down because I had $5000 left to pay or I couldn't attend 2nd semester. Mom and I had no money and we already pulled out 2 loans. They finally caught me and made me go to the office. I explained to them how I had to money quietly. The dick I was dealing with loudly said "Well you know what? If you weren't financially steady enough than why did you attend this school, you're going to have to drop out if you don't pay us. Simple as that." There was a line of people behind me, most I was friends and acquaintances with. I just hurried and left and avoided the faces. One month later we got it all settled before the semester ended(stay tuned for the story)
25.(2015) Spring Break. Isn't it great? My college buddies Isaac and Adam went down there. TONS of girls and parties. I'm not like a huge party animal or whatever, but it definitely got my mind off my pathetic life. I met a girl at the Isla Grand Hotel Pool Party. She was gorgeous and surprisingly was attracted to me. We were both drunk grinding, flirting, kissing, and stuff. The problem is that Isaac, Adam and I took the cheap way out and decided to sleep in the car the whole trip. No hotel room. We also walked to the party. She whispered in my ear, "Hey you're turning me on, take me to your hotel room." Oh crap I thought. There's nothing I could do. I wasn't going to take this girl around the corner or whatever in public. I still respect woman. "Um, I don't have a room, do you?" I said silently. She got drunk angry and created a scene. "Are you serious?! You get me drunk and horny and then have the nerve to tell me you're too poor for a hotel room?! I can do better than you!" She walked away. I heard a couple black guys behind me hollering like monkeys. "Ohhhhh you got burned brotha you let that piece of gold go brothaaa!" She was obviously out of my league, but at least I got that far with her.
26.(2015) University of Arlington, I'm helping my friend Robert on his confidence and approaching girls.(More on this later). He goes up to this girl that is obviously out of his league. "Hey listen, girls like you walk away and ignore me whenever I try to talk to you, could you please give me a chance and let me take you out?" "Umm I'm sorry but you're not really my type, I'm sorry." "WHAT THE F***!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!? PLEASE JUST TELL ME!? The girl got extremely freaked out and started jogging away as Robert kept walking towards her. "Please leave me alone!!" she yelped. She ran away and now Robert and I had a crowd looking at us. "Creepy Motherf******" I heard from afar.
27.(2015) I finished my first year of college, I'm actually in the library working on this blog as a lady across from me works away as well. All of a sudden, an old man walks behind her while looking at books and constantly keeps farting. "ARE YOU SERIOUS!?" she yells. The whole library gives their attention to her. The man looks at her. "Why the hell are you going around farting like some crazy person!?" "I didn't" he lied. She then stands up and points at me, "Did you see this crazy man farting!? He was making noises like pfffffp!" She then started imitating the noises loudly as the library scattered with giggles. "Um ma'am you're going to need to quiet down a bit please." said one of the workers. "Then you people need to get rid of this nasty farting fool!" The whole library broke into a huge laughter. The man slowly walked out of the library.
Haha there's more but these are definitely the big ones that made me cringe and made me want to crawl up into a ball and never show my face again. I'll never understand why so many awkward things happen to me. I'm almost convinced I wasn't born to enjoy my life. At the same time these moments gave me stories to tell and memories. Well some memories I wouldn't mind forgetting.
Haha thanks for reading!
Cheyenne Fuller
https://instagram.com/kingofawkward23/
https://twitter.com/kingofawkward23
Follow my blog and check out my other posts!
No comments:
Post a Comment